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November Birthday Boy.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:23:54 GMT

He's EIGHT!

No way. Couldn't be!

just when I think each day lasts forever around here, he goes and turns eight and I know the days are flying way faster than . . . well, then fast flying things.

(Yes, it's probably near midnight and I'm a bit on the tired side.)

Christian said, "Mom, my seventh year went by faster than the year before. Each year seems faster!" I was somewhat surprised to hear him say that considering that he has literally been counting down the days to his birthday since last spring. I would have thought he would say it took forever.

He has studied my calendar. Seriously studied it. I remember when he told me, "Mom, it's now 196 days until I turn eight."

My calendar sits on my desk. He walks in and finds it and flips through it and counts. He would say, "I can't wait until my birthday. It's --- days away." Smile and then walk out.

We take the children out alone on their birthdays. Started that this past year and Robert and I are so glad we did. It's been awesome all the way around - for us, and for them. Christian has been just dying to go out with us. We took him to mini-golf and then to eat. He and Robert played golf and I kept score. Christian made a hole in one about half way through the course.

He hit it out of the course, onto the sidewalk, it bounced back in onto the green and went into the hole. I kid you not. Never seen anything like it in my life of mini-golf. It made his night.

At dinner, over his mac-n-cheese, he told me he either wants to fly planes when he grows up, or be a doctor. He's always told me, since he was a little thing, that he wants to fly... but this doctor thing was a new one. I asked what kind of doctor.

He told me one that doesn't see a lot of blood.

I've seen a lot of spiritual growth in Christian the last three months. Back in the summer time he was not really desiring to pray or spend time reading the Bible. About the first of September I was burdened for his heart. I was reading in my quiet time one morning in Psalm 108 and read:

"...that your beloved ones might be delivered, give salvation by Your right hand and answer me..."

I underlined and it and on the side wrote, "Prayer for Christian 4 deliverance."

And I stepped up my praying for him.

I felt led that I was to make it a priority each night to pray privately with him. Since the four boys share a room I wondered how this would work ~ but I found my way in. All the boys love back rubs, but Christian especially so.

I go up and rub the boys' backs before bed. When I would get to Christian I would rub his back and then get down right next to him and I would whisper a prayer in his ear for him, hugging his shoulders. He really seemed to respond to this and I could tell, really began to look forward to our quiet little prayer together.

Since the beginning of September, I have really seen the Lord work in Christian's heart in lots of little ways.

He is a private person, more quiet in a group and praying at the table at meals has always been something he has been shy about. I haven't pushed him about it, because I've known a lot of it is just personality. . .

Not to mention he's got three extroverted brothers who jump in so fast he doesn't have a chance much anyway.

Well, since our nightly whispered prayer together he has been desiring to pray more. The other day when he prayed at lunch time, once again, it just really touched my heart and I thank God for it because I know this is something that God has done new inside of him.

I have also seen God work a new heart of compassion in him. He's a tough guy - he's all boy - and has had his fair share of injuries. In the past when one of the children would fall or get hurt, he'd kind of look their way, shrug, move on... kind of like, "Get over it and get up." I don't know that he meant to be this way, he's just kind of the soldier type.

A few months ago I spoke with him about how loving others is to show compassion - that when someone gets hurt, it is loving, whatever took place, big or small, to check on them, to ask them if they are okay, to help them up or whatever he could do to show love.

I have been so encouraged to see him taking what I said into action. At first it was a new thing for him, hard for him - outside his normality to stop and take time to help someone up. But over the last few months, he has made it a habit - ON HIS OWN - working hard to show compassion and love. And now I am seeing it come from his heart.

When asked what his favorite thing about this past year was he said it was going to the beach as a family. When I asked him what his goals were for this upcoming year of his life, he said, "To catch a monster crab."

(Shelton was the picture taker for us here so we kind of ended up at the bottom of the picture~)

Things I love about this guy:
-He has a wonderful laugh! It is so contagious.
-He is a deep thinker. And though he doesn't let on, even a deeper feeler.

-He talks quiet, but sings loud.
-He gives hugs that squeeze the life out of me.
-He has dimples.
-He loves babies and animals too.

-He's tough.
-He's the ideal student.
-He reaches out and holds my hand. He is extremely affectionate.
-He tells me he loves me.
-He is a strong leader type.

-He can mimic any voice he hears.
-He is who he is. He likes bag pipes and his favorite music to listen to is a Scottish bag pipes cd. He did not get this from me. He puts it on and it sounds like all of Scotland is going to war in his bedroom. He marches and tackles things. I put up with it at the high volume because as it goes on and on and over and over it just blows my mind that he loves it so much.
-He talks my ear off when no one is around.
-He has eye lashes that are longer than anyone's I know.
-He loves to get dirty. He is 100% boy, plus some.
-He knows how to work a deal.
-He likes to make faces when I take pictures.

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for Christian. I enjoy each and everyday I have with him. Seems like yesterday I was sitting in IHOP eating pancakes for supper after a long day at the zoo with my two little boys. I went into labor. Robert paid the bill and we rushed out.

An hour and a half later, Christian arrived... had him in our living room at home - we were living in a one room house at the time and the living room was Robert's and my bedroom!

Oh, goodness, what a time! Robert ran our two little boys to my sister's house up the road a ways while I was in very active labor at the house, leaving me there alone as the midwives still hadn't arrived! I can remember thinking I was going to have our third baby all by myself!

Thank God I didn't. What I remember most about Christian when he was born was his beautiful dark skin, his eye brows and eyelashes, his head full of THICK, BLACK hair, and how he hardly ever cried. He was our earliest crawler, walker and swimmer out of the bunch. And up to this point, has had more stitches in his head then nearly the rest of the children put together!

I am so grateful for this son that God has given us... a son to give back to Him. I pray he will be a man hard after God.

Happy Birthday Christian Soldier! I love you so very much.

a. ann

P.S. She found the mascara. She pretty much missed both eyes, and was quite proud about it.

Twenty-three weeks old.

Our No Birds Hike. And Geodes. . .

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:10:20 GMT

We took out early one morning last week for a field trip. The children have been studying birds and we'd hoped that the place we planned on hiking that day would have lots of birds to look at. My boys have been carrying around this scavenger hunt paper for a couple of weeks now - one where you have to check off the different things you find or see concerning birds.

Well, they weren't getting too far with it so we decided to drive to a place we enjoy hiking. Getting up early and heading out I was sure we'd find birds at least in the morning... but no. We did not see birds!

But we did have a wonderful hike with some wonderful family. The weather was perfect. We hiked about 3.5 miles. We saw a little bit of fall color, something we don't get much of around here, and I still have some sore shoulders from carrying babies.

My sister who has Downs came for our hike - she seemed to really love it and kept up, or rather we kept up with her!

We had some sports drinks left over from football season. Itty has been waiting her turn to have one of these all season long ~ so I let her take one on our hike.

Scott and my parents helped out with taking Baby when I would get tired carrying both. Baby loved hiking!

I had the boys carry my camera a lot of the hike since I had the babies. Some pictures they took:

We had a nice picnic mid-afternoon ~ My sister's and my kiddos after lunch:

(Many of our children are very close in age - my sister's youngest son, just a bit older than my youngest son - and her youngest daughter just a bit older than my youngest daughter. Some proud, sweet big brothers!)

Our Baby, down in some leaves after our hike. I think she loves nature like the rest of us.

----------------------------------------------~

"...they did not remember the abundance of His steadfast love... they soon forgot His works ... they had a wanton craving ... " Ps. 106

It's a rainy looking Sunday morning and though I'd rather be with Robert at church this morning, I have a sick son who needs to be in bed resting. So he is. I'm tempted to work because after weekends, there is more than enough to work on. Particularly laundry. But I know my need to be quiet and rest is much greater then the need to clean.

Beyond the hiking adventures, schooling, last weekend of football, rodeo, etc. . . Interesting past week.

No pretending ~ times when I did not remember the abundance of His steadfast love for me.

I sure wish it were ALWAYS in the forefront of my mind. It's crazy often how much I forget what He has done in the past, second guessing the next moment. I think I forget God's works pretty easily when I have set my affections or expectations on the goodness of man.

Truth is, there is no goodness in man, absent of God present within. "For there is none righteous, no not one..."

Of course there's not! Then why do I want there to be? Why is it that the human-ness of mankind can get me down?

How often my heart does not truly believe what my mind claims to be true.

One thing became more aware to me this week - I have a craving that is there that I am not even always in tune with. A craving to be understood. A craving for others to not mis-read me, mis-judge me. Course, who doesn't want this. But I guess something becomes a craving when it touches something deep inside, when it draws upon pain, the past - - when misunderstanding of who I am takes place though...

I wonder - and who am I after all? It's always a good stop to check motives, but do I know my own heart? Do I know my motives? And can others, who claim to know my motives, really know my motives?

And why do we claim to know others hearts and motives?

And why does it hurt when they claim to know my motives when I don't believe those are my motives at all?

Oh, if life's questions were all packaged up perfectly for me. - where I could type in my question about my own heart on google and then bam, what my heart is REALLY like and is motivated out of would come flashing back at me on the screen.

And why do I even care? Why do I care about my motives and my heart?

Because I do believe there is a God. I do believe He knows my heart and my motives. I do believe that going to heaven is not based on what my head knows but what the well-springs of my heart are. I believe that the outward package of a person can be spankin' perfect and the inside of the package is black.

While at the property last week, Shelton went geode hunting. He loves to collect rocks. He has since he learned to walk. He is my complete nature freak and I love that about him. Geodes are typically round, or somewhat round. They are not 'hard' rocks - they can be opened up - inside is the cool part... or the not so cool part.

All geodes that Shelton finds look basically the same on the outside. They are grayish roundish rocks - different sizes, but nevertheless, each one much like the other.

But the inside is a whole different story. When you crack the geode open you can find one of two things: either a layer of beautiful crystals and neat mineral matter that resembles all sorts of cool things (we sit around and study and marvel at the little beauty in our hands), or you find a layer of brownish mineral matter that resembles hard poop.

There is no way to know what is on the inside, from our human eyes, unless you crack the geode open by inflicting great pressure. (i.e. hammer, or throwing it hard against another rock, or take it to someone who has a rock cutter.)

I was sitting on the picnic table and Shelton approached me with two geodes in each hand, "Mom, geodes are like people..." He stated matter-fact.

He continued, "...They look the same on the outside. But then on the inside it's different. One is truly beautiful and the other is rotten. You only know the truth about the geode when it's hit really hard by the hammer... then it cracks and you see if there are crystals or just those minerals that look like poop."

Out of the mouth of young ones.

He went on...

"All the years I've been collecting geodes and cracking them open to find crystals, Mom, it always reminds me of people."

I sat there that tired afternoon, and marveled at what he said. I found myself looking over his cracked geodes carefully and studying them with him, listening to him tell me about each little thing and what he thought, all the while keeping in mind what he had just likened the geodes to. My heart felt searching.

I don't think it was by accident that he went geode hunting that day, or that he came up to me just kind of randomly, saying what he said to me. Sometimes God speaks to me in the most unexpected ways.

------~

I am very grateful for the steadfast love of the Lord. I do think I am like a geode. I do think it takes pressure for me to see what I am truly made up of on the inside. The hammering, the cutting, the throwing against a rock! Then the geode opens up, never to be a whole geode again. It's broken. On the inside, in the motives part of me, are crystals forming and mineral matter that is beautiful? Or is it rotting minerals that look like, ya know...

This craving that I have had for others to not mis-understand me...
It's life: I'll be misunderstood.

In fact, it's one of the many things that "cracks my geode" to show me what is inside of me. The "for real" me.

-------~

When I find out that the outside geode of someone fooled me into thinking the inside was crystals, can I still love that person? What if someone's geode is never "cracked" and the inside is never known, at least down here on this earth? What if someone is intent of cracking me to make sure there is ONLY crystals on the inside?

There was only ONE who looked just like the rest of us humans that was all crystals, all perfection on the inside. His name is Jesus Christ. People misunderstood him, judged His motives wrongly -- but his craving in life wasn't to be understood, he didn't give second (or first) thought to what others thought. He knew he was pure on the inside, and he was.

When he was cracked open -- and he was through great pain and hardship, he bore our sins on the cross -- there was shining beautiful crystals like none other. It was shining bright with the abundance of His steadfast love.

That wows me. That's something to crave.

a. ann~

Midnight Is My Sparetime Post.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 04:50:08 GMT

My best friend in the world turned 42 this past Tuesday.

Each of us had a very long day of work that day. We met up at the end of it and everyone loaded up headed out to eat. That is a treat in and of it self -- but even more so on Tuesday because I paid to take Robert and the fam to go get seafood, which is Robert's favorite type of food.

Shelton ordered alligator and ate a big mound of it.

The rest of us ate normal seafood. We did other fun things that evening.

In a nutshell, Robert said it was the best birthday ever and so I felt very happy about that. The children of course spent lots of time prior to the big day making gifts and cards.

The middle boys worked on a gift together. They carved a boat out of wood and made a sail out of clothe. They stained it and then wrote on the front of the boat, "Fishers of Men." They did a wonderful job - it now rests on Robert's side dresser in our room.

The boys test floated it in the bathtub. The boat apparently can be played with in the bathtub, so we were told, but it falls on it's side if you don't push it through the water a certain way.

The hugeness of all that could be written when I think of how God put Robert and I together... is well, still too long to write. Complicated, yet wonderful. And only Robert and I know the story. Only we know what really took place, and has taken place since...

There is not many months that pass that we don't find ourselves going through it all once again as we drift to sleep in the night. Sometimes the only way I think it will ever get passed on to the next generation is if somehow we record ourselves talking back and forth during these memory lane moments.

What an incredible 12 and half years it's been. Valley, mountain, valley, mountain and over and over again. Highs and lows... but praising God the highs have been so wonderful that the lows were recoverable, through the strength and grace of God.

My husband is as human as any man, human as me. I won't paint a perfect picture because he wouldn't want me to, though there was a day when that was the most important thing in his life to him: what others thought, painting perfect pictures to cover up the stains and imperfect canvas of his life and those closest to him.

What a changed man he is. This past year has been an amazing year for me to watch him and grow with him in our walk and relationship with Christ. It pretty much is hard for me to explain but I have just shook my head in amazement at times as I have seen God minister to me through him, seeing his humility and desire to know God like never before.

I even just shake my head now, in awe of God's miraculous power to change lives. Mine and his and many others.

I loved the man I married all those years ago, but the man I am married to now is so very, very different than the man I married then... and my heart pretty much cannot express yet at the same time cannot contain the love and the wonderment I feel for Robert.

What a great year we have had together this past year. I hope and pray for many, so many more together.

Side note in this midnight spare time post... One thing about being married to a man ten years older than I am... always makes me feel so young! I have a feeling that will come in handy when I really am old.

Things I am most thankful for in Robert this past year:
-his trust in God
-his acceptance and passionate love for me
-his devotion to prayer
-his enjoyment of our children and desire to spend time with them and know them well

-his tremendous work ethic
-his spontaneity
-his standing firm on what he believes
-his help and vision for the childrens' education

-his patience and gentleness
-his contentment
-his individuality, that he is like NO one I have ever known.
-his questioning of what he hears and seeking out what he believes and not just taking what he has been told to believe.
-his love of the outdoors
-his love of date nights with me~
-his running with me and encouragement in each and everyday as I do what I do
-his admission when he is wrong, his humility in wanting to always mature and grow in the Lord

Thanks Robert for seeking to live a life outside of yourself. Thanks for washing dishes with me. Thanks for making me tea before you leave for work if my throat is sore. Thank you for all your hugs. Thanks for always sitting so close in church, just because you want to - instead of placing all the children between us. Thanks for asking me for directions on how to get somewhere instead of aimlessly driving around and around...

Thank you for holding fast to what is right and true even when it hurts, when people don't understand, when you are lied about, talked about, or rejected. Thanks for your encouragement to do the same. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for being loyal. Thank you for being devoted to our marriage 100%.

Thanks for telling me about my typos and spelling errors on my blog, even if it is several days after I've posted it public. Thanks for reading it just because you like to. Thanks for liking my photography. Thanks for watching the children so I can have quiet time now and then.

Thanks for the amazing appreciation you give me for being the mom when I return from my quiet time out.

Thanks for thinking my creativeness and strange interests and ideas are cool. Thanks for calling me all day long while you and I are apart. Thanks for working SO hard for all of us. Thanks for not giving up.

I am so grateful to have celebrated your 42nd with you. I am thankful to have you as my best friend in the whole world. I love how when we are together we feel so young and full and completed and in love. I have this feeling those feelings will still be there and even more so when we are 82 and 72.

It's a gift that can't really be measured: to live life in love.

Happy Birthday.

a. ann~

P.S. Itty can do pig-tails now. Here she is the other day after I did them for her. She was rather proud about it, eh?

Sheep that chase, inventive playground, and laughing baby.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:52:24 GMT

(go to the bottom of the page to turn off my blog music first.)

a. ann~

Real LiFe MoNdAy...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:34:07 GMT

(Crazy boy)

(Crazy boy likes wearing a helmet I think because so often his hair can look like this.)

(I spotted Christian and Shelton heading out in the rain together)

(her ears stick out just perfect for putting flowers behind them )

I wrote last night on and off after the children went to bed. Then this morning the electricity flickered on and off as it often does and I lost what I had written. So I suppose it wasn't meant to be on here anyway. This morning, I sipped tea because I have a sore throat. First time sickness has hit us in a long time around here and I'm grateful for all the well times we have.

The children are watching their history video, tiny baby is napping for the morning. My two year old is somehow intrigued by history as well. So nice. So I have a moment or a few maybe, but I never really know so here I go.

Scott made his first touch down of the season on Saturday. I've written in the past about the difficult coaching situation he has had this fall. He was named the "workhorse" by some - because he was used to get the ball within yards of scoring only to be replaced by the coach's son for the attempted touchdown.

Without going into all the details of what we've walked through together during this season, all I can say is that it touched into my emotions and I felt my eyes well up and warm tears fall down my cheeks. I know just how bad he's worked and wanted that touch down, even though all odds seemed to be against him.

For not being an emotional person I thought it kind of strange I should cry over a touch down - pretty trivial in life - but what the tears ran for was the heart of my son. Seeing hope fulfilled in the last game of the season (though they have a bowl game this weekend).

It's a different season in Scott's life - when I've wanted to go up after each football game and hug him and cuddle him and say everything would be okay like I still do my four year old boy, I could not. I hold myself back. I let him be a man. At the same time we make eye contact and we communicate on a different level. I high five, hit that right shoulder pad. Say few words, but make sure the words I do say -- count.

I've sure seen Scott grow a lot this season. And I've had to grow with him. I'm finding and searching and discovering what it means to be a mother now to a son that isn't a little boy any more, yet not a full grown one either.

Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on stones across a river, slowly, hesitatingly - trying not to fall in. Knowing God will hold my hand as I cross over into this new territory of loving and guiding and supporting my sons as they are no longer sitting on my knees or crawling into bed next to me in the early morning to snuggle.

It is like a new adventure - new discoveries. I find there is less talking at times, and then suddenly, lots of talking. I am grateful for sons who do talk with me - these older ones now, I wait - I wait for them to make the move. I find my place in their lives an interesting one, especially Scott right now. It's a sweet time, and wonderful if I can keep my heart focused on the fact that he is not mine. He is God's.

I had a photo shoot Saturday morning and drove like a banshee trying to make it back for his game. I arrived just as half time was ending. I was running to the bleachers, kind of bummed I'd missed the whole first half. I sat down next to Robert and I spotted Scott on the side lines about to be put back in for the game. I yelled, "Go Texans!"

And then he turned and he saw me and through all that face mask, helmet and mouth gear, I saw his big smile. I put both thumbs up in the air for him to see and we chatted just then in a silent way. And then coach grabbed him and shoved him onto the field with instructions.

It wasn't but maybe five minutes after I sat down that he drove that ball all the way into the end zone. I was so glad I was there to see it. My sore throat today might be in part to how loud this mama cheered.

I saw him jumping up and down, hitting shoulder pad to shoulder pad with his other teammates. The elation in that boy was all over the place. Shelton was the water boy for Scott's team Saturday - he was so happy for Scott that when Scott made it back to the sidelines Shelton drenched him in water instead of giving him something to drink.

We've got more grace around here since I last wrote. Or rather, a dog named "Gracie." She is who knows what kind of dog. It was a spontaneous idea on my part. Maybe after the impersonation whole thing I decided a big loud and barking watch dog would be a good addition to our family.

Instead, after visiting the animal shelter I feel in love with this dog named "Gracie." A medium sized sweet dog who is perfectly house trained, doesn't jump, bite, BUT does bark when she should. And I liked her eye brows. The children were all in agreement she was the one for us as well but she cost money. Children appreciate and care for what they pay for... so we returned home and I put out a glass jar.

(Morgan made this after our first visit to the shelter when we met Gracie)

Of course Robert added a little bit and I stuck in $20. but the rest was put together of quarters and dimes and nickels and pennies! Seriously, about $25. worth of change! The man at the shelter told us if we didn't come back and buy her before the next day, she was going to be taken to an adoption event and she would be gone.

The night before she was to be taken, the children counted the money. The next morning we took the glass jar to the desk at the animal shelter and "Gracie" joined our family.

She is a wonderful dog - her one problem being that she doesn't know how to walk on a leash yet. She either just sits there or takes off pulling the boys up a deer trail. Scott has been working with her.

Sunday morning before church if you passed our house and you saw me in my long white bathrobe and Robert's tennis shoes running wildly up the back hill to the pasture, it was for good reason. I was getting the girls' clothing out of their room when I heard Gracie barking like crazy. She only barks when necessary and so I peaked out the window.

There Gracie was barking and barking, Clover our lamb up tight against the fence! What in the world? who put those two in the same pin! I went running through the house, jumped into Robert's shoes and out the back door. Shelton behind me, all the while I was yelling, "Who put those two together!!"

Shelton replied, "I thought they needed to get to know each other mom!" And he was serious.

So we rescued the lamb, or maybe we rescued Gracie - I'm really not sure which since the lamb is twice the size of the dog. No damage was done except that I covered my bathrobe and Robert's shoes in mud, dog hair, and lamb's wool.

Sorry, no picture.

Itty steals Baby's ear flowers.

My moments are up for now, history is over and we need to move on to the next thing. But I wanted to add to this post something that was passed on to me that was very helpful for me and I want to remember:

"-Unsafe people think they have it all together instead of admitting their weaknesses
-Unsafe people are religious instead of spiritual
-Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback (specifically, they make excuses & start attacking others)
-Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble (specifically, they have a character structure that does not allow them to see certain realities as part of themselves. They project things onto others & cannot own their own flaws)
-Unsafe people only apologize instead of changing their behavior
-Unsafe people avoid working on their problems instead of dealing with them. They resist any form of character growth or maturation, ie:
-do not admit they have problems
-do not confess when they have wronged someone
-do not forgive people who have hurt them
-avoid facing relationship problems directly & openly
-treat others with a lack of empathy
-are not open to confrontation from others
-do not take responsibility for their lives
-blame others for their problems
They act out of their unconscious hurts, and then hurt others

Unsafe people demand trust instead of earning it. They feel "entitled". They get defensive and angry because someone questions their actions, and they think they are above being questioned or having to prove their trustworthiness. None of us are above questioning, and to take offense at it is very prideful.

"Be wary of people who say, 'how dare you question my integrity!'"

-Unsafe people believe they are perfect instead of admitting their faults.
-Unsafe people are on a mission to prove that they are perfect. Using their work, family, abilities, or religion, they try to project an image of perfection, and their image becomes more important to them than the relationships they are in.
If someone threatens their image, they will attack that person, for they must keep up their image at all costs.

They will fight, blame, and point fingers - anything that will put the badness onto the other person so that they may remain blameless.

-Unsafe people blame others instead of taking responsibility.
-Unsafe people lie instead of telling the truth. Unsafe people see deception as a strategy to cling to and to manage life & relationships. They defend instead of give up their lies. "

(At one of the boy's football games I caught this picture. I think it speaks volumes.)

Because of events in my life I was placed in relationship with "unsafe" people. When reading the above I could not believe how accurate every single word was to those with whom I found myself with. I really believe the events in life aren't something that just happen - I believe God's hand is in them. But as these difficult unsafe people seem to surround me and effect my family and life I began to ask God to please remove them.

The answer has seemed to be no and like any normal human being I have asked "Why?"

Now I don't think God always answers our whys when we want Him to, and sometimes the why isn't answered down on this earth at all. Sometimes when the why is answered it's not what we like to hear.

Though I think I've known the answer to my question before this past week - after all - I think a lot of what I've written in the past few years has been so much of how the Lord has shown me how He has used what seemed bad, for the good of my heart, my relationship with Him - but nevertheless, sometimes I ask the same questions over again because I need the answers all over again...

I'm a slow learner.

This past week though as I was questioning God once again about the why, why the unsafe people in my life, why didn't God change them? why didn't He remove them? the answer came very clearly, "Unsafe people are left to sanctify His people."

And I found real HOPE in this answer! God is so good to give it. So today, Monday, I have been thinking deeper on this and I have found peace in my heart to rest. Not that I won't ask Him why again concerning it, but once again He has reassured my heart of His goodness in all things - His bigger picture, all that He sees that I do not.

And it's true, unsafe people do sanctify us, if we are His children. They have pushed me to my knees time and time again. They have made me question what I know, what I believe. They have caused me to search very deep into my own heart and life, hit the very core of my being - driving me to cling to Jesus Christ. Driving me to desire honesty, authenticity, truthfulness.

Driving me to test things, not just take what I see and hear. Causing me to break free from the fear of man. Showing me my own bondage, revealing my own neediness. Dropping me into the arms of Jesus and revealing to me what He is really like and who He really is.

Knowing unsafe people has given me a passion to be a "see-thru soul." It has been convicting into the very depths of me - to flee hiding, to flee blaming, to flee pride. To be honest with my weaknesses ... to pursue humility. To pursue relationship with God and despise the morbid religious putting on of mere outward disciplines, nice smiles and the drama of acting christian - the how dare you question my integrity or rightness or position or lifestyle.

I smile when I write, "Be careful what you pray..." There was a time when I prayed fervently that God would sanctify me, make me new, make me like Him. He has been answering this prayer, it just took me a while to see how He was answering it.

Now, I find so much hope in what could seem like a very lost and dreary situation or relationships. In His mercy, He did not leave me where I was and in His compassion He is drawing me near to Himself and has given me a deeper longing for heaven and to know Him.

This doesn't mean I will stop praying that God would save, or that God would remove. But in the mean time, I have renewed hope, I see the light in the darkness. I am seeing His hand where I thought before it has nowhere to be found.

Elizabeth Prentiss put it this way:

"...doesn't it seem hard when you think of the many there are in the world, that you should be singled out for such bereavement and loneliness?

She replied with a smile:
I am not singled out, dear. There are thousands of God's own dear children scattered over the world suffering far more than I do. And I do not think there are many persons in it who are happier than I am. I was bound to my God and Savior before I knew a sorrow, it is true...

(and I love this part)
...But it was by a chain of many links; and every link that has dropped away brought me closer to Him, till at last, having nothing left, I was shut up to Him and learned fully what I had only learned partially, HOW SOUL-SATISFYING HE IS."

Unsafe people, trials, difficulties - these are not hinderances to our knowing God, on the contrary, they are the very things that draw us into the condition of loving and knowing Jesus and instead of obstacles, they are part of the journey to knowing God more.

That is how we can have hope in the midst of sorrow and peace in the midst of chaos.

"For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation..." 2 Cor. 7:10

(growing up too fast)

Because I would rather watch my boys play then be taking pictures, I only took my camera two times out of the whole season (thanks, Abs, for letting me use your lens!) - - here are my favs I snapped at Christian's last game - so glad he'll have these to remember this year's season by.

(running for the points)

(half time)

(after being tackled, still on the ground, clinging to the ball)

a. ann~

Header Vote...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:06:31 GMT

1. "The-first-picture-taken-out-of-the-pictures-taken"

2. "Drama-picture"

3. "Randomness-amuses-me-picture"

4. "Doggy-in-hat-picture"

5. "Sing-me-a-song-picture" (poor dog was frightened by the singing.)

6. "Our-clubhouse-picture"

7. "Simplicity-fun"

8. "Christian-is-holding-caterpillars"

which is your fav?

a. ann~

Internet Impersonation Is A Lame Game.

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 02:28:49 GMT

There is someone who has copied and pasted all my blog posts to a blog on a forum connected with yaparenting.ning.com. - or something like that. Apparently she didn't change any of "ME" or my family as far as I know. She also invited my "sister" and a few of "my" friends. (though it wasn't really my sister or friends of mine!)

She used all my kids names, ages...she didn't change any information as far as I know, but I am unsure as the forum is being removed and since I was not personally apart of it but informed about the identity theft because of a sweet woman who wrote me:

"... I really thought you were both the same person but I had my suspisions and that's why I emailed you. there was no links to any of your stuff but there was also a sheye rosmeyer (not sure if she is real or not on the forum) who my friend follows on blogspot. We were looking at the I love faces blogspot contest and saw your daughter, Morgan, picture and then I found you!"

The "real me" that is. The pictures here on my site were being copied and pasted, my words as well, to some forum somewhere else, under my name.

Beccah Beushausen began using my name in May of last year in her big scam to keep her lies about a baby she never had alive. Considering this "me" joined this forum on May 5th of last spring as well... hmmm.

(identity theft first time)

(A blog identifying my impersonator.)

I will continue to post if/when it takes place - internet impersonation is a crime. Pretending to be someone, stealing their art, writing, etc. and posing as that individual is identity theft.
---------------------------------
For the record once again:
I do not participate in forums, in chatrooms, on facebook, twitter, myspace, discussion groups, ANYTHING. If you see my name, site, pictures ANYWHERE BUT HERE (or occasional Iheartfaces), please inform me, and the administration of that forum, site, etc. The picture of me in blue "scarf" (shirt) close up has been used elsewhere by this person(s). If you see it anywhere but here, it is not me, but an impersonator. Again, "me" anywhere else is not me.

I may have an occasional interview but if you see one please let me know about it if you suspect it might not be really me. (an occasional interview )
---------------------------------

Thank you! Thank you especially to those of you who have informed me of it when I didn't catch it first.

a. ann~

About Boys and Other Things...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:18:23 GMT

...that I don't know much about, but hoping to learn as I go~

ABOUT BOYS...
____________
Accept the high activity level of boys. . . and give them safe boy places to express it.

"Talk to boys in their language -- in a way that honors their masculinity. Be direct with them. Remember that they like to be consultants, and problems solvers. Do not shame them.

"Is communicating with boys sometimes difficult? Yes, it can be. Is it impossible? Almost never. If you are willing to ask consultive questions, put your emotional cards on the table, and not be disappointed by brief answers, you can communicate with boys."

Raising boys
-set boundaries and always be consistent.
-communicate with them often. Show interest in what they are interested in.
-teach them social skills to carry on a balanced conversation.
-encourage them to ask questions about the other person.
-have them work. Teach them that everyone helps in running the house.
-always know their friends. Make your house the place they want to spend time.
-spend lots of time with them. Be apart of their lives. Make it exciting.

Give them your love - unconditionally. You might not like their behavior, but always love the boy.

Provide for them good role models.

Don't enable them.

AND help them memorize...
"He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy..." Prov. 28:13

ABOUT WHAT BIG BROTHERS WERE FOUND DOING.
____________________________________________

ABOUT TELLING OTHERS ABOUT GOD...
_________________________________
"Would that God would make hell so real to us that we cannot rest; heaven so real that we must have men there; Christ so real that our supreme motive and aim shall be to make the Man of Sorrows the Man of Joy by our conversion to Him of many..." H. Taylor

ABOUT LIVING...
______________
As long as I see anything to be done for God, life is worth having; but O how vain and unworthy it is to live for any lower end. - David Brainerd

"The presence of God became unutterably real and blessed and I remember. . . stretching myself on the ground and lying there before Him with unspeakable awe and unspeakable joy. For what service I was accepted I knew not, but a deep consciousness that I was not my own took possession of me which has never since been effaced. "

"I would rather die now than to live a life of oblivious ease in so sick a world." Nate Saint

ABOUT DAUGHTER LIKE MOTHER...
______________________________

ABOUT WHAT MATTERS...
______________________
"I had utterly abandoned myself to Him. . . could any choice be as wonderful as His will? Could any place be safer than the center of His will? Did not He assure me by His very presence that His thoughts towards us are good, and not evil? Everything is laid at His nail-scared feet, life or death, health or illness, appreciation by others or misunderstanding, success of failure as measured by human standards. Only He Himself mattered." V.R. Edman

ABOUT MY WEAKNESS...
____________________
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..."

"If we could only remember that God has always gloried in choosing the foolish things, the weak things, the base things and the things which are not in order that His power might be revealed to us in our weakness and through us that the glory might be all His." -- K. Strachan

ABOUT SUFFERING...
_________________
"Our greatest cause for rejoicing tomorrow will not be that we have been spared from trial or suffering, but that Christ has been present to sanctify the trials to us and comfort us in them..." T. J. Bach

"Difficulties are not without their advantages. They are not to unnerve us. They are not to be regarded simply as subjects for discussion... they are not to cause inaction, but rather to intensify activity. They are made to be overcome. Above all they are to create profound distrust in human plans and energy , and drive us to God." J. Mott.

"... all these difficulties are only platforms for the manifestation of His grace, power, and love." H. Taylor

ABOUT PRAYER...
_______________
"The trouble with nearly everyone who prays is that he says "Amen" and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas."

"Praying without faith is like trying to cut with a blunt knife -- much labour expended to little purpose." Fraser

ABOUT MARRIAGE...
_________________
"Marriage can be a great blessing or a great curse, depending upon where you place the Cross." C.T Studd

ABOUT BEING GOODY-GOODY...
___________________________
"I can't stand these people who are so goody-goody and holy-holy. . . Eric wasn't like that. His wonderful sense of humor saved him from ever being like that." -- Florence Liddell, about her husband Eric Liddell.

ABOUT MY HELPER, THE HOLY SPIRIT...
_________________________________
"What we need to be assured of is not that we possess an excellent system of doctrine and ritual, but that the gift of the Holy Spirit is a reality." Roland Allen

"He has given us a gentle, patient Guide (the Holy Spirit) who is willing to go with us all the way, and come into the minutest steppings of our life..."

"How little chance the Holy Spirit has nowadays... we have so bound Him in red tape that we practically ask Him to sit in a corner while we do the work ourselves..." C.T. Studd

ABOUT RECENT GOOD TIMES.
_________________________

(Some days we just head out to the property to explore and do school there all day. It's wonderful, even if we get good and dirty and live on hotdogs and marshmellows. We love it.)

ABOUT THE PRESSURE - BECAUSE IT'S THERE...
________________________________________
"It doesn't matter, really, how great the pressure is; it only matters where the pressure lies. See that it never comes between you and the Lord - then, the greater the pressure, the more it presses you to Himself..." J. Hudson Taylor

ABOUT FAITH...
_____________
"True Faith glories in the present tense and does not trouble itself about the future. God's promises are in the present tense, and are quite secure enough to set out hears at rest. Their full outworkign is often in the future, but God's word is as good as His bond and we need have no anxiety." J. Fraser

ABOUT NOT BEING USELESS, BUT VICTORIOUS!
________________________________________
"Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God's plans, but God is not helpless among ruins. Our broken lives are not lost or useless. God's love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love..." Eric Liddell

ABOUT HOW OFTEN I THINK I "SACRIFICE"
____________________________________
"I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk when we remember that great sacrifice which He made who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us..." David Livingstone

ABOUT HOW IT COMES DOWN TO PRIDE.
___________________________________
"What is it that's driving you? Is it perfectionism? That's pure ego. You'll self-destruct. Confess perfectionism to God and ask Him for deliverance. Is it desire for excellence "for the sake of your witness?" Whose excellence, yours or God's? Is it love of money? This is so serious it's frightening. Jesus says you cannot serve both God and money; you must choose... wrestle that one to the ground and have it done forever..." A. Ortlund

"Do you think anything concerning you right now is too small?
your house.
your reputation.
your influence.
your job.
your family (you want a spouse or more children?)
your circle of friends.
your salary.
your life.

Ps. 131 "Lord, my heart is not haughty. nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me..."

God's leash isn't too tight - our hearts are too proud. We think we deserve more - self image has greater expectations - these attitudes are the very grease on which we slide into self-pity, discontentment, ungratefulness, misery.

Fix your eyes on Jesus - and YOUR eyes become smaller and smaller. What is our stature, our purity, our power, our excellence compared to His?"

A. Ortlund

ABOUT THOSE WHO TALK ABOUT YOU...OR JUDGE YOU.
_______________________________________________
"No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me, says the Lord." Is. 54:17

ABOUT REAL SMARTS...
____________________
"But the wisdom that is from Above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy..." James 3:17

ABOUT HARD AND SOFT STUFF...
____________________________
"Hardened clay is brittle and easily damaged. If dropped, it can fracture into a thousand pieces... Dropped wax, it only bends from the pressure of the fall. IMpressionable and pliable, it can quickly be remolded.

People are like that. People who are hardened in their resolve against God are brittle, their emotions are easily damaged. But those who bend to the will of God find perfect expression in however God molds them.

The same sun that hardens the clay, melts the wax. There is no change or variation in the sun itself. It's just the way the clay or wax responds.

Trials and sufferings will harden some just like breakable clay, baking in resentment and bitterness. The same circumstances can melt others, teaching them endurance. The trials have no value or intrinsic meaning in themselves. It's the way we respond to those trials that makes all the difference." Joni E. Tada

ABOUT CLOVER.
_____________
He is ramming. He will have to go on Craig's List. Anyone desiring a ramming male lamb please let me know.

ABOUT BEING REAL.
_________________
There is no need to appear as a great pillar of strength, to not let others know that I too have struggles and problems and weaknesses. If people really knew how weak I was, they would never look to me for support. Then so be it. Don't hide behind a gilded layer of superficial piety. Be broken. Be real. Confession is needed, not something to hide or run from. Let go of the pieces of your own identity and let your identity be found in God.

Let self be lost - so a new person can emerge... one that is honest, unafraid to be exposed and obviously human. God sent His Son to save such a one.

ABOUT AS MUCH FALL AS WE HAVE...
________________________________

ABOUT WHAT TODDLERS DO WITH GOLF BALLS
________________________________________

ABOUT TIME PASSING FAST AND BIG BROWN-EYED BABY...
_____________________________________________

ABOUT MORGAN'S STUFFED ANIMAL PHOTOSHOOT:
____________________________________________

about time to haul boys to football practice.

a. ann~

Nothing Else Satisfies.

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:05:14 GMT

"...Thirsty souls yearn for His nearness. Nothing else satisfies. All else seems meaningless without the Lord’s presence with them. This is not a “let’s pretend” presence. It is real and living and comforting and invigorating. Lord, please give us foretastes of heaven now — on earth — and by this cause us to thirst more for You..." J. White

I've been taking the kids out to the property a lot lately. It's been wonderful.

I have a great sense of gratefulness to my heavenly Father this am...

Hudson Taylor Wrote "Oh, to be married to the one you DO love, and love most tenderly and devotedly . . . this is the bliss beyond the power of words to express or imagination conceive. There is no disappointment there. And everyday as you show more and more the mind of your Beloved (the Lord Jesus). . .makes more humbly thankful to the Giver of all good for this best and earthly gifts."

We can love - by the power of God - through relationship with Him, our Beloved. We can be a channel of that wonderful love to our husband unconditionally... because God has first loved us and pours out His grace and mercy and compassion, and patience and tenderness upon us - this then can flow through us to our husband, to our children.

Without Him we are nothing. Because of Him we can love. May we fight the fight each day against the enemy who wants to destroy. Knowing, that as His children, the battle is already won.

"...because Your steadfast love is good..." Ps. 109:21

a. ann~

Midnight Is My Sparetime.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:40:04 GMT

There is no way I could possibly write or for that matter tell, all that I did today.

I feel like that every day in this season of my life, but today, let's just say it was beyond, way beyond even normal. I've been asked to write about what a "normal day" for me looks like, what is my schedule, do I schedule? and so on. I'm sorry, but it's impossible... maybe one day I'll find a way to explain. But for now, there is just one word: crazy.

And it's a good kind of crazy not a bad kind of crazy. It's even a somewhat organized and scheduled crazy.

One day when I just had the five older kids, I put a pen and paper on my counter in the kitchen. Everytime I did something, and I mean E-v-e-r-y time, I came back to the counter and wrote it down, list like fashion. I have it printed somewhere, filed away. It's like as big as a book.

I know some of you mom's know what I'm talking about here.

There are a few things I do not do well at squeezing in my day: eating, drinking, sleeping, and using the restroom. Before you think to chastise me for this - just know you must not understand my life at all and that my blog here pretty much depicts about 2% of my life. And that's okay, we all walk different walks/ sail different ships, or what have you.

There are days when I get to the end, and my muscles are sore from constant motion and working all day long. Sometimes I think it's all the squats done from pulling clothes out of the washing machine and forcing them into the drier.

I've been accused a few times of making motherhood to all these wonderful children look easy, or fun, some sort of matchy childrens' clothing fashion show moved to the great outdoors... or even somehow dreamlike. It is dreamlike - no kidding there. A constant changing of moments - sometimes relevant to the last moment, but mostly, not at all.

It is fun. And times of not fun. Good thing life isn't about just having fun. And easy?

For the record: never.

"...God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns..." Ps. 46:5

Each morning God is with me as I face the pain & pleasure that is before me.

I've "written" more than a few blogs in my head the last few weeks, knowing that I'd not get a chance to sit down and actually write. It's somehow therapy to my silly head to write. I've been wound up so tight spinning round and round, working so hard at home and then so hard at "work" (photography business) and so hard at everything in between that I think I am needing more "therapy" than usual here tonight...

(I'm prone to "spider web" writing as I call it, moving from one subject to next, when I write past midnight. But this is my spare time - so spider webs it will be.)

I might have posted this previously in the last few years of blogging but maybe not. I stumbled upon it again, written in an old "journal" here in my computer files (I title my computer journal "Yesterdays" - I like that.) and it's fitting for my heart tonight:

"SLOW DANCE"
Have you ever watched kids

  On a merry-go-round?

  Or listened to the rain

  Slapping on the ground?

  Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

  Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?


You better slow down.

  Don't dance so fast.

  Time is short.

  The music won't last.

  Do you run through each day

  On the fly?


When you ask How are you?

  Do you hear the reply?

  When the day is done

  Do you lie in your bed

  With the next hundred chores

  Running through your head?


You'd better slow down


Don't dance so fast.


Time is short.


The music won't last.


Ever told your child,

  We'll do it tomorrow?

  And in your haste,

  Not see his sorrow?


Ever lost touch,

  Let a good friendship die

  Cause you never had time

  To call and say,"Hi"


You'd better slow down.


Don't dance so fast.


Time is short.


The music won't last.


When you run so fast to get somewhere

  You miss half the fun of getting there.

  When you worry and hurry through your day,

  It is like an unopened gift....


Thrown away.


Life is not a race.


Do take it slower


Hear the music


Before the song is over.

----------------
"Be still and know that I am God..." Ps. 46:10

If only there were a way to "slow dance" and be a wife and mom to seven children, a home business manager and one and on it goes ...

I think there is. The heart of the matter anyway: taking the time to do what matters most. Doing what is eternal. It means don't turn on the computer because after all what good does it do to sit here and turn them away when they need something saying, "I'll be there in a moment. . . " and the moment turns into half an hour.

It might mean not answering the phone. It might mean for some personalities, to "hide" the car keys for the day because staying at home with the children instead of always having to be on the go is really the better choice for everyone.

Blogging hasn't been on my eternal list of things to do lately, honestly, it's never been on my list of things to do. As much as I have been encouraged out of my socks that God could possibly use my staggering journey of seeking Him to allow others to be encouraged to know Him more. . . my priority is LIVING my life with my children to the fullest, not blogging about it to the fullest.

I can just hear the nightmare now, sometime in the future children saying, "Yeah, our mom was great. She was a great blogger... !"

whoop-de-do.

I do miss journaling what is happening though and the things the children say and do - the memories I am making with them. I do think there is value to recording God's faithfulness... I do hope one day, my children will read, and they will understand who God is, who I am, who they are. And why they are the way they are, etc.

They will find out the most from my "Yesterdays" files. That's where the other 98% of me lies.

I use to tell myself that when they are all gone this is all I'll have - all these journals, posts, pictures to review and shed tears over the fact that these years went too fast. . .

that sounds rather depressing at the moment though, maybe because it's in the middle of the night.

Which brings to my mind something I heard since the last time I blogged. I think it was on the radio as I was driving to who knows where -- it was called: "Being a mother with vision."

So okay, so when I first heard about being a mother with vision I get this picture of this controlling matriarch type who, well... who is heading up the household in one way or the other. The she'll-getter-down type mentality.

But then I listened on. It was a story about a woman... She was a mother of quite a few sons. She was a mother with a vision and it was a generational vision - it was all about PRAYER. That was her vision, to pray.

She prayed for her sons, for her grand children, and her great grandchildren. She prayed for one thing through-out her life: for their salvation. The whole story was about how this woman, this mother who had vision - how she had impacted generation after generation and how God had answered her prayers and continued to do so long after her death.

I want that kind of vision. I want that kind of prayer life. How little I understand about prayer. I pray throughout my day - a lot with the children, we stop and pray all the time for this and that - but serious vision! serious vision to pray for my family - taking it on SERIOUSLY for the rest of my life - and not just my own children, but their children too. . .

Wow. Anyone want to take on the challenge?

Crazy, but to take something like that on - that kind of vision as a mother, it kind of feels like something too big for me. Beyond my spirituality, beyond what I understand how to do.

And, yet it's what I am called to. I WANT TO. God help me in my weakness.

"...but I give myself to prayer..." Ps. 109

"...At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness..." Ps. 69:13

I want vision like that.

Which leads me to politics. I was asked how involved I am politically. Do I receive emails from AFA, Liberty Counsel, Parental Rights, HSLDA, AUL Action, One Million Moms and things like that? Do I call my senators and type the emails? Obama Health Care, parents rights, whether or not a company mentions "Christmas" or "Happy Holidays"?

No. No to all of the above.

I do pray. I talk with my children about things. I say "Merry Christmas!" loud during the holiday-er-I mean CHRISTMAS season! I get involved locally when I can. Especially with anything pro-life and pro-family. That's a big part of my heart. One day if I find I do have spare time on my hands (besides the spare time at midnight while nursing the baby and down loading clients photos) I hope to get very involved in the fight against the killing of unborn babies.

We do the WALK4LIFE rallies and such. I talked with a young woman just this afternoon at Costco about keeping her baby even though she was a young teenager. We vote. We vote whenever we can, in our little small town elections, or nationally.

Sounds pretty much like little involvement politically, I'm sure...

One day I might personally email senators. By then email will be out dated. Wonder if we'll have senators anymore-

Right now I personally email my husband, my mom... and a very few others. One day I might have time to read all the emails from the numerous wonderful sources mentioned. . . as for now, my reading goes to about two things: God's Word, and anything that is spiritually uplifting, pursuing a closer relationship with Jesus so that I might in turn love my family and those around me.

Which brings me to something that was emailed to me from one of those very few people that I email with - my sister. She sent me this last week and I was so grateful. Little did she know it came at such a needed time:

"Lys, I read this in our devotion (The Word for You Today) the other day (Neh. 6:3) and wanted to send it to you after reading what you posted on your blog from Br. Jerry's disciples notebook.

I really thought the 3 points made are excellent. And especially what is said after those first two. About how it can be avoided if you say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. LOL! So true.

Nehemiah teaches us three important truths about handling criticism.
1) Expect it. When spectators watch a race, where do they focus their attention? On the front runners! Someone said "Criticism is something you can avoid easily - by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." But those three options don't work! SO Nehemiah answered his critics, "I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down." Don't step down to the level of your critics.

2) Evaluate it. "Sanballat...sent to me, saying, "Come let us meet.....But they thought to do me harm." (Ne. 6:2) When people say, "I'm going to tell you something for your own good," often they've nothing good to tell you. When you're criticized, ask yourself: a) Who criticized me? Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful (Prov. 27:6) Has this person earned the right to speak into your life? b) Why was this criticism given? Out of a personal hurt, or for my benefit? Hurting people hurt people, so maintain the right attitude, looking for the grain of truth, making the necessary changes, and taking the high road.

3) Outlive it. When Nehemiah's friends told him to run and hide, he replied, "I will not....So the wall was finished....in fifty-two days....when all our enemies heard of it....they perceived that his work was done by our God" (Ne 6_11-16) Sometimes you're in more danger from the counsel of your 'friends' than you are from criticism of your enemies. That's when you must know who you are, what God's called you to do, and outlive the criticism!"

Thanks, sis.

Outlive it!

Which brings me to critics. In my google protective search of my site here I found a link to a discussion between two women about my blog. I was being accused of believing, and writing, that God would allow death, sorrow, and suffering in our lives - that these things are from God - to make us more like Him. How dare, they said, that I would suggest in my writing that death could be God's will.

("...precious to Him is the death of His saints...")

Yes, I am well accused. And to that I want to add something that I read this week that has not only ministered to my heart but even brings more resolve that what I believe is true and in correspondence with God's Word:
-------------
"Can God, who gave His all for you, ever do wrong by you? Shall you accept the good from His hand and then charge Him with wrong doing when something does not go your way? Shall you thank Him when He blesses you with what you approve but not thank Him when it seems bad and painful for you?

Is He worthy of praise only when His acts please you? His chosen way for you is always good and perfect and best. He is evermore worthy of thanksgiving and praise, even in the darkest times. Your trust in the dark so pleases your Heavenly Father. Your praise in pain honors Him.
J WHite.
-------------

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”

Which brings me to a quote I jotted down ever so fast the other day:

"Your friend might help you reach some of your potential, but it's your enemies that drive you past your potential. Your enemies drive you to God - they are sent to make us pursue God more passionately." E.L.

All I have to say to that is yes. How true.

And what a better way to view what is coming at us in life? the difficulties and "enemies" and so on? It shows where our hearts are does it not?

Do the hardships in life drive you to God - make you pursue God more passionately?
That's where I want to be. Passionately pursuing God.

"...For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble; He will conceal me under the cover of His tent..." Ps. 27:5 (notice it doesn't say He will "abolish the day of trouble...).

I'm not there yet. I'm not who I'd like to be. . . I pursue, and I painstakingly, after I lose heart, lose sight of that pursuit, come crawling slowly forwards once more. What keeps me coming back to Him is His amazing love for me - His love for me through the pain, and His love for me through the pleasures.

Which brings me to posting my favorite vacation pictures from a few weeks back. . . pleasure. "Wonderful" is too much of an over used word to describe our much needed four and a half days out of touch with reality. It was like a little piece out of our year that was completely dreamy, completely fun, and completely easy (except for the drive there and back - but even then, it wasn't so bad.)

And I did have time to eat, to drink, to sleep and to use the restroom. Now that's what I call a vacation.

There was lots of swimming~

There was lots of biking~

(we had to go by a bike rental to get one of the boy's tires fixed and Bity found her a little place to rest.)

There was lots of playing~

There was moving your feet in the sand, sitting around type times. I loved them.

One of the kid's favorite things to do was play tag in this green grassy area in the evenings... we had so much fun!

Evenings on the beach~

We all love the beach so much - we would spend all day there some days - and then go again at night to crab too...

(eating the crabs)

This picture is so funny to me - we went in this childrens' toy/clothing shop and the ladies were all asking to take pictures of us (I guess it's not often larger families come in there?) Look at the kids' faces! They were not much amused at being a tourist stop.

Here's another funny one - would have been so cute, but check out Christian!

Sweet times~

(Robert got her this HUGE jaw breaker at the sweet shop! She worked on it all day long.)

(love you R! By far my most favorite thing about vacation was being with you ALLDAY/ALLNIGHT)

(Tired beach baby~)

Window Shopping :)

The boys think that anything caught in the ocean should be eaten. They catch something and then ask, "Can we cook this?"

She is such a good baby - she just would lie on the beach chair and watch.

I thought it would be fun to get a picture of Bity with the blue - haha, she didn't think it looked so great.

(Boat ride for Baby)

Taking time to explore God's creation~

Scott took care of baby so I could get out in the water some - when I got back - looked like she was ready for lunch.

(Yes, that day Bubbie got a tan in the shape of his goggles.)

Baby with her daddy~

(these are not edited - it really was that amazing and the sky and water really were those colors that afternoon.)

(It stormed behind us and even where we were staying, but not at the beach we went to that day - it never rained on us - so neat.)

The perfect drool.

Afternoon naps in the stroller~

(the boys patiently waiting while the girls and I looked around the beach shops.)

Fun, crazy boys...

EVERYTIME we go to the beach the boys (and Robert) like to have sand wars! - and I mean big time sand wars! - and they go on forever~

They make their fortresses and pick teams (typically boys against dad and daughters.) They strategize and have the best time!

Defeated.

Last night there~

the end.

a. ann~