resolved2worship's Xanga

Building Cathedrals.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:33:04 GMT

(go to the bottom of the blog page to turn off the music first).

Thanks, mom. You are not invisible to me. I can't thank you enough for all you do to love, serve, help, and pray for me.

a. ann~

Paper airplanes in the snow.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:29:44 GMT

There are snow flakes coming down at our house. How rare. The children have been let out of school to go throw paper airplanes in the white rain. One has on flip-flops with socks. Now that's what I call dressin' up for winter time.

Tonight we will put up our Christmas tree. Maybe it will snow and stay on the ground. But I hope not because I have two photo shoots tomorrow and my blood is too thin to handle anything under 70 degrees.

The other night my mom gave me a Christmas ornament that said "Baby's First Christmas - 1977." It was given to me 32 years ago and I've never seen it before. Understandably, Mom didn't want it to break. I'm a mom now - it's okay, I reason as such so often. Funny, I guess at 32 she finally believes I won't break it. I thought about hanging it on the tree tonight... finally the little glass bell ornament will know what it was made for.

But then I just know it will break. And I would hate to see 32 years of saving the ornament go to waste. Thanks mom, I'll try to keep it just as safe the next 32 years. Than maybe I'll use it. But then again, I'd hate for it to break after 64 years of keeping it safe. That would be really bad! haha.

This 32 year old ornament has made me think: "Life is short. Live it up. Even if it breaks, at least you used it."

or then I think again, "Maybe if I continue to keep it in mint condition in it's package, it will be worth something big one day..."

but then I say oh well.

isn't life like that. Saving the China plates, for what? Waiting to wear that fancy dress, or thinking hair should only be curled for that special time out. Saving those pretty heels for that once a year time.

I wore my fancy heels with jeans last night. They have a dirty spot now on the toe, but they've been worn good now - they're only shoes after all.

Enjoy the moments. Fly paper airplanes in the snow. Use the ornament in the package that has the birth date on it. There is pretty good super glue these days. - or better yet, frame the broken pieces in a shadow box because that's real life and then you have proof that you lived it.

a. ann~

Nothing Else Does It.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:42:27 GMT

hanging over the back gate where the lamb stays~

(read on Shepherds Notebook this morning.)

"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."
James 4:9
~~~

"How does one draw near to God so this stunning promise will be fulfilled?

Is it possible for us to really know the nearness of God?

Can He really be incredibly real to me in this world of a million distractions that flood my soul with images through my senses?

God says, if we will He will, and He cannot lie.
What is required for drawing near the Lord Jesus?

*Humility — because He gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).
*Submission-–because He is worthy of supremacy in your life (James 4:7).
*Repentance—because He is holy and must be approached with clean hands and a pure heart (James 4:8-10; Psalm 24:3-5).

His presence near you brings comfort and peace and renewal and refreshing and increased desire to stay close to Him always, although full satisfaction for your longing soul He reserves for heaven.

Nothing else does what His nearness does."

More here~

a. ann~

A Perfect Rainy Day to Spend No Money.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:51:08 GMT

Today was cold and rainy. This afternoon was quiet. Yes, I did type that.

It was quiet because the two little ones were asleep most the afternoon and the boys were into this paper airplane making and competing game they invented in the living room. I haven't looked in the living room because I have no doubt that it will resemble a battle field.

It was not quiet in the living room.

But it was quiet where Morgan and I were and we were working on making Christmas tree ornaments out of things around the house and in the desk and in the craft room. I like buying new things like anyone normal. But what I like more is trying to make things for nothing out of what is right here in front of me. Sometimes these inventions look normal, and sometimes they don't.

But however they turn out, it really doesn't matter so much. I got quality time with my daughter. I didn't spend money I don't have. And now I have some one of the kind ornaments for our Christmas tree that mean a lot to Morgan. She asked me if when she leaves home she can have them.

I said yes.

Christmas Tree tags~
We decided the tags should spell out things the Lord gives to us or is to us: peace, life, love, our King.

Seashell ornaments~

Christmas tree angels~

Other decor for our Christmas tree~

Morgan and I plan on adding these homemade Christmas decorations to our tree this year, when we get one. She is thrilled with the idea of decorating a Christmas tree. I think this year she might be old enough to remember it one day.

a. ann~

Gratitude.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:18:46 GMT

The list kept getting longer.

And it wasn't all silly stuff like "I'm thankful for the curtain rod that is on top of the window here in the kitchen." (trust me, kids can think of everything and anything when you ask them to start making lists of what they are grateful for on Thanksgiving.)

As tradition would have it, Robert makes a thanksgiving list on Thanksgiving Day. He did this growing up. He's still doing it. Revisiting this past year with eyes of gratefulness, this year has been amazing. Truly beyond our expectations.

One thing I have been particularly thankful for this year has been work. Robert has worked so hard - such a blessing that the work has been there this year when many have faced lack of work. This is something we don't take for granted. I have heard my husband's prayers each day. I have seen God answer them beyond what he even asked.

I am so glad for a day set aside to just remember the goodness that the Lord has poured out.

Life for me is rather a walk in the park compared to what they lived through just making a way to survive in America.

Truth is, I often take for granted the very things that most deserve my gratitude.

We had a wonderful long Thanksgiving weekend! It wasn't hard for me to feel grateful: Robert was home two work days plus the two day weekend!

We got to hang with old friends, new friends, and some family too. We spent lots of time outdoors. Time to sing. Time to hike. Time for playing, and Football. Roasting sausages over the fire and making smores. I ate key lime pie. I got to sleep in until 8:30 one morning. And I got a date night.

Pretty swell holiday.

I think one of the main highlights was getting cinnamon rolls to go from one of our favorite bakeries early one morning, and heading out on a hike with the children, eating breakfast along the trail. We had so much fun and it was so relaxing, that I even took time to take pictures of nature along the way.

Here's the proof we hauled milk out there to go along with the sweet rolls: milk mustache.

Here's our early morning faces to go along with our trail breakfast:

Another highlight was watching the girls enjoy the festivity of Thanksgiving Day. Someone gave us a bag of small pumpkins. Morgan painted a few to add to the little table decorations. I helped make the worst mash potatoes I've ever eaten.

It wasn't entirely my fault. When two people are making something, coming and going, often times the same item gets put in twice. The potatoes reminded me of grout you lay tile with. The sweet potatoes were awesome though, so I prefer to remember that portion of the meal that I made instead.

So grateful for my girls!

Itty's Thanksgiving Day hairdo.

Baby's first Thanksgiving Day~

Thanksgiving night, after a very fun day:

Along with family relaxation came "work detail" too (as Robert calls it). I am very grateful for this particular "work detail" - the massive amount of firewood we chopped up is already getting good use. A cold front came in and our wood burning stove, the house's heat source, is working pretty nice as I type...

Here are the only two people who got out of "work detail" over the weekend:

I found this little gecko as we were working and gave him to the children. He and Shelton became instant companions, even though ultimately Shelton tried to shoot him out of the air ball gun (he survived) and then released him back into the wild. What a Thanksgiving that little gecko had to share about to the rest of his family!

I'm grateful it didn't crawl up Shelton's nose.

a. ann~

I:heart:faces not on faces this time.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:33:40 GMT

This is one of my favorite non-face pictures. Ever since Morgan was born into a family of lots of brothers, she's been following them everywhere. What I love about her though is that she does it very much in her girly way. They may have their camo clothing, utility belts, and hiking boots but she can sometimes out hike them in her ballet frills and butterfly wings.

a. ann~

Obsessive Concern.

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:12:47 GMT

I have been doing catch up today. Taking on more business work than I should have this season, I've let house cleaning be on the back burner for the past week. No more. Today I tackled it. Or some of it. There is no laundry left to wash until the end of this day! (unless there are accidents between now and then.)

Clothes are put away - well, not quite all the girls' clothing yet. I vacuumed. It sounded nice. Lakelyn didn't think so. So I carried her on my hip as I went, with her glaring down at the machine as I moved around the rooms. When Scott was a baby he was terrified of the vacuum even if I held him. He vacuums fine now.

When I clean house I've always had this certain problem. The problem is that for some reason my mind finally has time to think about things more deeply. Life sinks in more, I become more aware of my feelings. I play re-runs in my mind of relationships, conversation, events - both good and bad, happy and hurtful. It's always been this way with me and house work. You'd think being such a busy bee, working would do the opposite. But instead I find myself playing mind games...

And without fail I have to repeat more than once to myself the verse that talks about taking every thought captive.

After a morning of battling my brain, I sit here this afternoon for a little bit and I come to grips with my heart. What I found I was fighting the most in my mind was the fear of man (always my down fall, always something I will fight for the rest of my life I think.) - fighting the bothersomeness that comes with knowing that others are thinking things about you that are not true.

Being upset all over again about the unjustice of it all. Wishing with all my might that I could defend myself. To make right, to pull the wool away from people's eyes. I vacuumed away as I thought about how life isn't fair when it comes to stuff like this...

And then the Holy Spirit, my true Friend and Helper, spoke into my becoming-weary-soul over my thought life: "Who are you that you are afraid of what man (insert woman here) thinks of you? Put on MY strength and shake yourself from all this dust (literally, I could do this as I was cleaning!). Loose the bonds from around your neck and be Set FREE in ME!"

I clung to this the rest of the morning and found deliverance. I quoted 1 Cor. 13 'round in my head and then asked God to sink it into my heart in regards to all that the enemy had plagued my mind with this morning as I cleaned. I Cor. 13 is amazing. I will spend a lifetime grasping the words of that chapter. I will spend a lifetime failing. I will spend a lifetime going back to it again for healing. I will spend a lifetime seeing just how wonderful a God I have who loves me with that 1 Cor. perfect love.

Then I sat down here. Want to know something ironic? (otherwise believed as God sent.) I had a few messages here on my computer. Several had to do with the fear of man. How did they know? Well, they didn't, but God did.

Here is one I found in my mail box right as I sat down: (thank you!)
~~
"...I was reading a newspaper article today when I came across this quote, which I thought you might find interesting or useful...

"A lot of the literature about contemporary youth in my discipline talks about narcissism," said Alexander Riley, associate professor of sociology at Bucknell University. "This is a generation that is driven in the direction of obsessive concern for self. It's a narcissism with a powerful degree of requiring the approval of others."

...It was another good reminder that living for other people's approval is really living a self-centered life. People may try to fool themselves into thinking that they're serving others this way, but they're truly only serving themselves."
~~

This was to me. Right to my pitiful little self consumed mind this morning, all worried about righting my name, figuring out how to make the unjust, just. Wanting to blast all who had ever talked about me in a negative way. Tired of being misunderstood, made the scapegoat, or made out to be something that I am not. Wanting to shout from the roof tops the truth.

as if this would change anything.

This is the self-centered life. What a wonderful quote this woman sent to me, but even more so, the last part that she wrote herself - this is what pinned me down today. The living for other people's approval: living the self-centered life.

Amen! I say this amen not because I've got it down! I say it because I WANT IT THAT BAD! I want to be free from living for man/woman. Conviction once again. But rejuvenated and restored to get my thoughts captive and tell 'self' to go for a hike. A really long hike. To the end of the world and back.

If you are struggling with the fear of man today ~ Whether it be through your lifestyle, doing it because of what others may or may not think of you. Whether you are worried about your name, reputation, justice. Whether it's fear to be yourself because rejection really does hurt pretty bad.

Let me encourage you, as the Lord is encouraging me just now - shake yourself from the dust and arise! Take captive your thoughts to the obedience of Christ. Put on His strength. Loose the bonds from your neck. Let Him comfort you. Live for HIM alone. Do not be afraid. Be real. Be honest. Have real life is Jesus Christ - this cannot come as long as you are in bondage to people, your reputation, your outward religious performance.

Repent of the self-centered life.

As Is. 52 declares: "O captive daughter of Zion, You shall be redeemed!"

Praise God for His redemptive power.

a. ann

Sunflare~

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:53:33 GMT

So I asked my husband which sunflare picture he liked best and this one was it. He said he loves the expression on Baby's face. And well, so do I - she likes to open her mouth wide whenever anyone else does, and she seems to know when she is just about to be kissed.

I love this shot because of how the sun comes right through the opening and then blows out like a little sunstars sprinkling all over. I like this shot because I love how much Robert enjoys his little girls. I love this shot because I like sunflare, any kind of sunflare. I like the warmth, I like the country as the sun is setting. I like this moment and I am glad I have this picture so I won't forget it.

She'll only be this little once - next week she'll be all grown up. Or so it will seem.

Click over to Ifaces for some more sunflare~

a. ann

Flare... and just a little bit of life.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:35:28 GMT

It's been awhile. I find myself here again after a few long weeks. I write in my journal even when I don't write here. So little really ever gets posted.

If I could sum up the last few weeks it would be the same as I've always written:

What grounds me is God's sovereignty. Through sickness, pain, sorrow, rejection, slander and gossip. And through joy and love and kindness, and His merciful continual gifts to me through my husband and children and my family and friends. He is my Rock.

I have something I painted on a piece of paper a few weeks ago and it says, "Stay Calm, Carry On."

I didn't originate it. I just copied it and it sits here in my office. But it preaches at me every day. In a very good way it preaches.

In simplicity it reminds me of two things: God is not dead, in fact He is ruling and reigning. And so with that calming news, push on ahead, with a peaceful heart and quiet spirit. (I don't refer to quiet spirit as a quiet personality but a heart that is at rest, trusting her Maker.)

OH! WHAT WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL NEWS THIS IS. What GREAT motivation to keep keeping on amidst whatever comes my way.

Yep, here I go again, talking about how God knows what is best. That out of His great love for me He has orchestrated the very things into my life to draw me closer to Himself and to make me more like Him, and ultimately to bring glory to His name.

To dare to say that the 'bad' things that come my way are actually just instruments in the hand of God... because in my life it's really just between God and me - Him and I - He wants a relationship beyond the surface, beyond the outward performance. He's talkin' 'bout my heart.

I might be a broken record for the rest of my life. I might just write and rewrite this same thing every single week of this 'lifetime' blog. If I die and it's the last thing I write, then well it is.

Now, just to live it. Yeah, that's what I want. That's why I keep writing: to me.

Whether it's working outside the home and wishing you didn't have to, or wishing you could work outside the home. Whether it's your husband doesn't talk enough, or maybe controls, or talks far too much. Whether it's in-laws who never call and seem like they don't care, or in-laws who drive you crazy through the in-your-face effect. Whether it's can't keep the weight off, or can't keep it on. Or can't have children, or get pregnant when you don't want to. Whether it's every one is talking about you, or no one is or seems to care.

Whatever it is, if I'm not grounded in my belief in who God is then BOOM, I don't stay calm, I don't carry on.

Or maybe I carry on with a chaotic heart.

Which is sin.

Praise God the good news is that God Himself has provided a remedy for sin. "He made Him (Jesus Christ) who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become righteousness of God in Him..."

When we are grounded in God's Word, Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are no longer a slave to sin. But alive in Jesus Christ! He calms the chaotic heart. He gives the strength to carry on, in trust and in rest. Life is too tough for me to handle. But, God has made a way.

Can I get excited and scream about now?! It's really pretty loud in my house right now and I think I would just blend in with the craziness!

Hold on. Hold fast. Stay Calm and Carry on. Faith - faith in Jesus Christ.

"...Faith came singing into my room, and other guests took flight. Sped out into the night. I wondered that such peace could be! But Faith said gently, "Don't you see, that they can never live with me?" -E. Cheney

"I, even I (the Lord) am He that comforteth you..." Is. 51:12

~

At Ifaces this week the photo challenge is sunflare. If you're not sure what this is, be ready to see a lot of it this post because I realized on the Ifaces blog that this challenge was coming up a few weeks ago... and I just love FLARE!

I've been far to busy this past few weeks having to work outside my home, or rather, inside my home working on portraits that were done outside my home. It's called a home business, and it can just about kill me at certain times of the year. Tis the season right now.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't carry around my camera that much when with the family. I carry it around enough when I am not with them, shooting around 100,000 images in the last few months, not of my family. So needless to say, when with them, the camera - during this season especially - is not something I like bringing along.

A few times this past month I brought it. Sunflare on my mind, tucked in the back of my head. I couldn't ask for better and more willing subjects that love to run and play and make faces that I couldnt' ask for them to make if I wanted them to. They seriously are my most enjoyable subjects ever and the easiest in the world to take pictures of.

If I have time before tomorrow evening, I hope to post one for the challenge, but I am having a hard time deciding. If you have a favorite, leave it in a comment. Others' opinions on what they think looks awesome, is always helpful for me.

Oh, and if you have a sunflare shot, go post it on their site and your link -- it's a great way of motivation to learn new things about photography and get ideas as well - anyone can join the fun.

So here is my sunFLARE:

(I'm not sure what this is about! You would have thought a grizzly bear was taking his picture or something!)

(when shooting into the sun, just shifting a little can change the entire lighting of an image and hit your lens in so many creative prisms.)

(I'm in love with this image, even though her face is not shown.)

(catching sunlight on her tongue?)

Falling down into the grass~

The sun goes down...

~

We have one way of seeing fall colors right now, and it's in the form of orange butterflies heading south to Mexico. The children love to catch them and then release them into the car as we drive around doing our errands. Shelton even brought along some flowers for them to enjoy...

I can't help but smile when I am driving because there are butterflies all flapping around me, children yelling and carrying on, babies making baby noises, the music blaring from the radio... yes, true wonderment. It feels, um, well I'm not sure -- but if you have ever driven around town with butterflies flapping around you as you drive you know what I am talking about.

~

Since football season has ended for the boys, I've needed another way to make them good and tired so they will sleep nicely through the night and go to bed earlier than 10pm.

I decided instead of exercising at night, I'd join them and start running with them in the afternoons. The weather has been wonderful for this and let me introduce you to my personal trainers:

These kiddos do a great job of keeping me feeling healthy and in shape. I assign each of them a certain number of laps to run, sit-ups, push-ups and then we do stretches together and a few races. It takes all of 45 minutes in my day and accomplishes several things at once.

(No matter how much I remind Bubbie he doesn't have to keep up with his older brothers, it's useless - I think he will spend the rest of his life doing just that!)

When I take my turn to run, Scott holds down the fort and gets his Literature and Reading in while hanging out with the little girls.

On this particular exercise afternoon that I managed to take my camera, we came home and set out the blanket and had snack time... here they all look like they are day time star gazing?

My little P.E. class takin' it easy~

~

I have some very extroverted boys. They love to be around people -- and since having nine in the family here at home doesn't seem to supply all their need for this, haha, I have been praying how I can provide more social times for them outside the home, in a great environment.

This past week I felt the Lord give me an idea -- found a few email addresses of some of the boys they played football with this past season and organized a little touch football game for them this past Saturday. They were SO excited. I told the parents they were welcome to come along or just drop their boys off and Robert would supervise the game playing and I would provide food and drinks.

(Here are some of the guys)
It was a big hit all around and I hope to continue doing these little touch football get togethers after the holidays maybe once a month. It's great being able to get to know the boys better that the boys have been playing with and being able to provide a fun and safe environment for them all to get together and enjoy socializing.

(Itty was suppose to be handing out treats afterwards, but somehow ended up with two herself!)

(Baby loves sitting outdoors and listening to all the noise!)

~

Probably the highlight of the last few weeks though, for the boys, was going hunting. Five am, up in a blind, huddled down, TRYING to be quiet, waiting for the kill.

Talk about EXCITEMENT! Well, at least they think so. And honestly, so do I. Deer cooks wonderful in pasta dishes and in chili. I'll pass on Shelton's mud duck though.

~

The little girls hang out in a whole different way than the big boys. I like both. Here are the little girls, sucking their fingers. One prefers the thumb, the other two middle fingers. Up until these last two little girls, I've never had babies that sucked their fingers!~

I could just eat this baby up! She is so fun and so kissable. We are loving every single minute. She got pretty sick week before last - but made it through (It was an awful flu, she kept very little down for four days!) We did are part, and prayed too and the Lord has healed her and she is strong and healthy again~

Here is what she was watching: sunset football.

~
Thanksgiving Week is here. I have so much to be thankful for. Here is the main thing:

~

and lastly, I like how our trampoline has become apart of it's surroundings. Never did like how those things looked. But I like how this one looks...

"When mother love is of the quality God intended it to be, it could well be the closet to the love of God of all the kinds of human love that exists. But, it is a little considered fact that simply in the process of becoming a mother, one does not automatically become a saint..." E. Price

"One cannot love God, except at the cost of oneself." Mother Teresa

That right there is the key to being a good mom.

a. ann~

Real LiFe MoNdAy PiCtUrEs.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:52:11 GMT

Chicken Noodle Soup and Oranges... for cough season.

oh, and oatmeal M&M cookies for cough season too.

1 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 brown sugar

cream together

3 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla

add and beat together

1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
3 1/2 cups quick oats
1 1/2 cups of M&M's

fold in

drop spoonfuls and bake at 350 for about 8-10 minutes. Or if your oven is like mine, bake 'til they look done.
makes about 7-8 dozen. Or about 4 dozen if you make them big like we like to.

a. ann~