Worry.

We've had a few days of what we think it cold and we're wimps. Partly though, it's our fault because we can't seem to know how to dress for warm weather. All my boys put on shorts today. One attempted flip-flops. No one seems to have jackets. Or they just don't believe in reality. I'm just as bad. I put on workout clothes to work out, ones that are not warm and I nearly froze. I'm pretty sure I couldn't feel my legs at all at one point.

These pictures from Thanksgiving warm me just looking at them. These are of Shelton one morning by the fire, coming up with his own breakfast. Something like marshmellows and baked nuts and who knows what. . .

Many precious moments were spent there by this dock. . .

The boys spend most of their days in the canoe on the water on our camping trip. They would wake early and head out. This picture was taken as they were coming in from fishing one early morn. . .

One afternoon we had canoe races. We had to paddle to a stump down the river, turn around and then come back to the dock. The kids paired up and I was in charge of the stop watch most of the time. They would swap up partners and go again and again. . .

 This shot I took one morning as the boys were pulling away. Itty was so sad she couldn't go too. . .

One of my favorite shots from the week. . .

The girls too -- 

Coming up stream from an afternoon of exploring. . .

Dock time ~ Morgan and I both enjoyed using the dock for our stretch time and quiet times that week. . .

 This next group of pictures are some that make me smile. I was sitting on some little wood steps quit a ways down from the dock with a book and my camera when I looked down to see this taking place. . . and the water was not warm. 

The boys spot me to see if I approve of Robert's dive in. . . :)

This picture is great explanation for why my kids enjoy life so much. . . because their dad does.

Evenings of just wandering through the river finding and seeing treasures as the sun set ~

Couldn't help but have one of the kids shoot a shot of us in the canoe. . .

 ~

Growing up I wasn't the worry type. I only remember worrying about one thing when I was about 7 and that was divorce because I knew so many couples who had gotten a divorce and I remember worrying that that was just something that eventually happened in marriage. My parents assured me that they were for life. I believed them.

They just celebrated 41 years together. I'm so grateful. Grateful to God who has kept them.

Life moved on past the age of seven of course and marriage happened a short eleven years later and well, I kind of joke that I should have worried a little sometime around then because it might have saved me a lot of crazy things that I let just happen. But I didn't worry. I just lived.

First year of marriage I didn't change much. I jumped off of waterfalls, hiked up mountains all alone while Robert was at work, other things too. I was alone most days three floors up in the air, in a one bedroom condo across from ski slopes. No car, no cell phone - in fact, no phone at all for a while. When the man showed up to put our first phone in, I glanced out the peep hole at the burly dude, went and got Robert's big ol' fishing knife and held the guy at knife point while he put in our phone wires. No kidding, the story is hilarious -- but I won't go there.

I don't remember fear over anything, real fear. . .

Until I was pregnant with our first baby.

I was babysitting for some folks I hardly knew. . . I was walking the children to the park that beautiful North Carolina summer day. When suddenly I began cramping horribly. Blood began to flow. I had a pretty good feeling I was expecting but I had not taken a pregnancy test yet. I asked the oldest girl where the nearest restroom was, remaining outwardly calm, yet urgent. She pointed to the restroom just outside the park area, a log cabin looking building.

In that lonely, dark place I began to lose our first dear baby. Throwing up as quietly as I could, choking back sobs, praying to make it through, hoping all the while the three children waiting outside could not hear me and would be okay. . . trying to figure out how I would make the trek back to the house where they lived without telling anyone, or anyone knowing. Impossible.

That day is a blur now. I can't even remember how I made it back to our condo and the kids back to their parents. I do remember chills and fever and being so sick and it lasted for days. I remember lying on the couch in our condo and feeling like I was going in and out of existence. 

Story short, it was horrible. I felt worry. I felt heart sick and home sick. I feared. I worried something was wrong with me. It was confirmed that I had miscarried. I was further along than I had thought. I worried I would not be able to have children. Up until that point I don't think I had even thought much about the logistics of a family. . . except ya know, have some children at some point - sometime down the road. 

Now, I thought about children. No, I worried about having a child. I thought about family. I worried I might miscarry over and over, never have children of my own. I worried I would feel that sick again. I worried I wasn't normal. . .

It's interesting, because worry is about playing God. I heard our pastor say that this morning and I'd heard that before but it stood out especially so this time. We wanna be God - that's ultimately why we worry.

Worry lies. Worry tells you things that aren't true. Or maybe tells you things that could possibly happen and then tells you that you could never handle what ever that thing is - if it did happen.

Worry is when I take my eyes off God and turn my eyes on myself instead. Or maybe others. We all trust something or someone - so what is it/who is it that we trust?

Luke 12:22 says, "Don't worry about your LIFE. . ."

My notes read from this morning: "Think about LIFE and what it holds. Everything, anything. Jesus said, "Don't worry about your life." Don't worry about anything."

I have learned through situations that worry is a huge heart issue. It goes back to our foundation, really, whether we have a foundation in God's Word - and do we believe HE is God? Do I find my security and satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone? Or do I rely upon something or someone else to give me security and satisfaction?

Worry comes from a heart that wants to control the outcomes.  

~

It had been over a month since we lost our baby. I had dropped off Robert at work that morning so I could have the car. I drove around Boone and somehow I ended up at a church, one we had visited during our time there. Not far from the church there was a hill, a big tall one. I made it my goal that afternoon to hike to the top. 

As I climbed, the beautiful mountains and valleys around me made a spectacular view. I can still picture it all in my mind. The sun was beginning to go down behind me in the west and the mountains and the sky to the east began to take on blues and pinks. The church began to look smaller and smaller down below and the cattle in the fields surrounding were like little dots. The last part of the hike was steep and as I came to the summit I saw that someone had put a wooden cross at the peak. I kept my eyes on the cross and completed the last bit. . .

The closer I got to the cross the more my heart began to break. By the time I reached the peak, I was on my knees, then on my stomach flat on the ground at the foot of the cross. In the dirt and rocks just flat out on the ground.

I began to cry, which turned to sobs, then quiet again, and more. My heart was doing all the talking to God that late afternoon. I don't remember saying much but I felt my worry and my burdens roll down the hill behind me, almost like I could hear them tumbling down. 

I moved from my stomach to my knees and lifted my hands to the sky and I sang. I still remember, my voice cracking, singing a song my dad wrote called, "Glorious Grace." The first words go. . .

"Here is my thanks, to Jesus Christ, 

Thank You for life so full and free,

A heart filled with thanks, Your work I see, 

Shows Your righteousness to me.

Glorious Grace, glorious grace, fills my heart with peace. . ."

Then I whispered something like: "God, I give my life to You. Again. I give you my health. My baby that won't be mine to hold, he is Yours. I give You my desire to have children someday. If You never give me a family, or children, God, I trust You, that You know what is best. I am at complete peace with that. I give it to You. It wasn't mine to begin with. I will not worry about tomorrow. I will not worry about the future. I trust You. You are God, not me. And my life is Yours."

I was there for a while because I remember it almost being dark by the time I got up to go. I hiked down the beautiful hill in the dusk, the cross becoming small behind me as I made my way back and I felt calm. 

I felt no worry about having a family anymore or whether or not I would be able to carry a baby to full term one day. The days that had followed the death of our baby had seemed dark and full of worry up until that afternoon. I was free again. The days following the hike to the cross were completely different. My heart had let go. I had seen that to worry was like me saying, "God, You don't know best. I do and here is how it should go."

Ya know, I believe God took me at my word at the cross that afternoon. It was just the beginning of a life of learning not to worry. It was just the beginning of learning to come to the cross and lay it all down at His feet; letting the burdens roll down the hills behind me. . . clinging to what is sure, God Himself, and letting go of what is unsure.

That is motherhood. For me, I really hadn't tasted worry until our first child entered my life, and then was taken. When he was taken I was not bitter at God, but it did reveal my lack of trust and my heart.

He is God, I'm not. He is good. When I am tempted to worry about my children (or even my health) I have often rememberd that hill, the cross, my words, and God's Word. I remember the way it felt to have worry rolling down the hill behind me and I go to God once more and let the burdens roll.

I have been tested beyond what I could write in the area of trusting Him with my health. I have been tested in giving my children to Him time and time again. Not just kind of, but completely giving them. I kinda twitch just thinking about some of those tests. . .

Once again this past week - New Years Day, we brought it in with a real bang! Literally. Lakelyn was dancing the night away in her ballerina outfit and flipped herself energetically into a wooden chair, ripping a large gouge at least an inch long right above her eye brow. After cradling my baby all the way to the ER, holding her as she screamed as they attempted to numb the area - which didn't take - and helping three others hold her down as the doctor stitched, Lake feeling every stitch - speaking words of comfort and looking into her face all the while. . . we had to give up on finishing the stitches. Goodness sakes that little girl is strong and a fierce fighter! And out came the glue and tape to finish up the area. We arrived home sometime close to midnight.

Again, a chance to worry. Again, a chance to give my babies to God and say, "God, I trust You." 

I get it. I get it that I will be doing this until I die because I am going to be a mom all my life. Worry makes motherhood so much less enjoyable! Worry makes us possessive over that which doesn't even belong to us! When we possess something and worry about losing it, we don't let it go when it comes time for them to fly the nest. Which will destroy the very relationship we desire to have with our children. Worry does not give life.

I love what Cory Ten Boom said, "Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of sorrow, but empties today of it's strength."

What I said on the hill that afternoon giving children and family to God, I say it again. I believe it and I desire to live it out in such a way that my children know - they know - that I believe God is God and I don't ever wanna be God in His place. Worrying is pride really, it's like I'm believing I have more power over my life (and my childrens' lives) and what takes place then I really do.

With the first day of the year ending in the ER - I joked that it was a bad way to start 2013. Truth is, it reminded me of how each year really should begin -- giving it to God and trusting Him. I could say no to more wild dancing in the living room. But I won't. Yeah, I will warn of chairs and I may put pillows on top of all the sharp corners, when I can remember too, but I will let my kids keep being the fun, adventuresome, lively kids that they are.

Robert does suggest however that I put football helmets on them all.

My children have taught me, even from the child that wasn't to be our's to hold, that worry is not God's way. As I think about this upcoming year and I have no idea what it will hold and there are a billion and one things I could worry about - oh my, seriously, my mind could go crazy if I just began! I know, and I believe. . .

"Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life; what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens (ravens - they are nasty birds really, dirty ones - kind of like us in the flesh): they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse or barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life span? If then you are not able to do a small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil or spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is a live today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" (look up Luke 12:22 and keep reading, it keeps getting better :)

I hope to get a chance sometime to post Christmas pictures from the beach! We had such a blast.

Alyssa

First Blank Page.

"Today is the first blank page of a fresh 365 page book. . ."

The Author, He is so patient. Such a good Writer. A writer of drama!  He's already been where I haven't. He already sees 2013. He knows the beginning and the end and all the in between chapters.

Mysteriously, and kindly so, though He is the Author, He did not make me a robot. . .

He made me a soul, mind, body. Choices. . . goals, dreams, passions, ambitions. Individually mine, yet all made and directed ultimately by the condition of my heart - whether it be set on Christ or set on myself and this fleeting world will dictate the choices I make and the life I lead, and the responses I have to the things I do not control.

Blank pages aren't for wasting. I get to write on them with God. I place my life in His hands, at the same time what I do with my time is in my hands. I want to live full and passionate!

I love the feel of a new year. We woke this morning from the little girls pouncing in on us as usual. The girls were surprised to see their daddy not gone already to work. Lakelyn said, "Daddy! Wake up and talk to your girlfriend!" (For some reason, and we find it humorous, she refers to me as Robert's girlfriend.) And we did talk, about this new year and we talked to God together about it too.

It's fresh, this first page. I especially love that in regards to the mothering of my children. Most of my goals for this year are in regards to spiritual aspects of loving and parenting my children in a way that would truly love them and love God. I must make choices and set goals in this area (for example, less/less/less! disapproving looks/or silent rejection - don't think you do this? Ask your kids! - and more/more/more saying, "I approve of you!" and letting them know through my words and especially my facial expression and emotions that I find great joy in them and accept them!). I must have Christ in order to carry my goals and desires out consistently and authentically (real).

Happy New Year to everyone! 

2012 is closed and '13 has the book cover opened!

 Alyssa

December memories ~ chronicle #1.

We spent the most wonderful time camping over Thanksgiving. . .

In a way, it seems a long time ago now after December. The weather was so good and Robert and I had the best time with the kids. It seems like we moved into slow motion during that trip and kind of stayed that way moving into the Christmas season - and it was good that way. Little things, simple things seemed to be the theme this year without even trying to make it that way. Ya know, funny things are so much more noticeable when things slow down. I think I have laughed more than normal. 

Robert kept saying, "If I could freeze time right now, just like it is, the kids the ages they are, I would. It's just that great." I agreed. 

There are days where something happens, or something is just so, I don't know, like a dream to me and I want life to just go in slow motion. Things are far from perfect (thank goodness) but there seems to be pieces of sunshine when you look for the light, streaming down. There are rainbow moments after the rain. Sometimes even while it's storming. And those are the little snippets that hold my heart captive and make life not about mere surviving but enjoying. 

December came and started off slow. We typically all pile in and go get a tree together but we just kind of didn't try to do things just because we have always done them. At first that was weird and I was the one saying, "It doesn't feel like Christmas 'cause we've not done all the Christmas stuff we usually do. . ." The minute that thought would come or the words would escape my lips, it was like the truth would enter - "Christmas isn't a feeling."

It ended up being rather awesome that Christmas didn't feel like Christmas this year. I felt like it slowed me down to live Christmas, close and sensitive to my kids ~ long walks and talks, back rubs that weren't hurried by early school the next morning - and nights staying up just singing or playing games, cutting snow flakes (505plus of them!!!). . .  and simplifying our lives and focus on the wonderful gift of Jesus Christ more. We did less traditions and more just loving on each other.

We did more of less and it truly did seem like it all amounted to more.

I have to say it has been truly one of the best Christmas seasons I can remember.

C and M with their school teacher/grandmother ~

The children had a great time with family on the boat ride this year. Thank you G and G Smith!

Their happiness is contagious! These two silly girls were thrilled with riding on the boat, all the lights everywhere and girl cousins/friends.

I wish their energy was contagious ha! The guys were on the other side of the boat hanging with cousins. . .

I love how Shelton's eyes smile.

Baby hung with me most of the time ~ her very first river boat ride since we didn't do it last year. Her hair is very slow growing (as was mine when I was her age) so no natural warmth for her ears this winter. She does well with wearing hats most cold days. . .

I'm pretty sure one of the highlights of December had to be the amazing Christmas date Robert planned! So, so special!

It began with actually having time to get ready for the date! Last time I'd had my make-up and such done was when Lakelyn was a few months old. It was so much fun! We didn't do the greatest at getting shots that night but did get a few right before eating and then one afterwards, all wind blown. The weather ended up being exceptionally warm that evening, which was nice in a way. Even a sweater felt warm. I liked the shoes I bought for the date, though not shown. . . they were black and sparked and bought at Ross, marked down for $13.99.

I especially love the man that asked me out ~ we had so much to celebrate.  Thanks to our babysitter :), we were able to stay out way too late and we just had the time of our lives! Absolutely my favorite evening this last month.

Course there were all sorts of other things I don't want to forget too from the last few weeks. Like Christian's school choir performance, even if I did have a bad seat too far back and had to leave half way through for Morgan's ballet performance. He sung the Irish prayer beautifully and there was a wonderful prayer and tribute to the children that perished in the CT shooting. I love this shot of him in the group choir. . .

The lighting was horrid in Morgan's ballet performance so I didn't shoot much, but I do love this picture of her. . .

Morgan is super loved by her brothers ~ Love these shots of her with brothers from that night:

Course she wanted her picture in front of the tree after she returned home that evening. . .

And I wanted one with her too~

 With all our warm weather this past month it seemed fitting to have our own source of "snow" around the place here. . .

Scott introduced us all to what I would call impulsive addictive snow flake making.  It became a competition of sorts and two days before Christmas the kids had made a total of 505 paper snowflakes. They were in piles everywhere and they were all different! None the same and so beautiful! So I began to string their snow creations above head level throughout the living room. It looked as if we would have a white Christmas after all! Every window pain had one placed inside, some walls covered and though it's hard to tell in these shots, there were over 400 snow flakes hanging in our living room! It was awesome on Christmas day to open all the gifts under our snowy room.

The Sunday before Christmas, the girls all dressed in their red for church (except me - I was feeling like pink for some reason.) One fun part was that I found all four dresses at second hand shops in perfect condition and for about five bucks a piece! I'm a sucker for deal shopping so this makes me smile, especially when it's dresses they won't be wearing the rest of the year! It seemed silly to come home and put on play clothes - why not let them stay in them all day and play? They ran around like pretty little Christmas babies

We fed the ducks in the dresses too. . . would have made a cute picture, but making sure the girls were not swimming with the ducks was more priority of course.

I  this picture of the middle girls. . .

Just living life santa baby style, barefeet and all. We had warm weather 'til a cold front Christmas afternoon.

Goin' to church. . .

Christmas light looking is something we love doing and this year a friend told me of a new place to check out so we all piled into the car and drove by Starbucks, picked up hot coco (except Robert, who always gets the same carmel frap in tall) and a few fun snacks and then headed into town.

We were all crammed in the car for hours as we drove through this neighborhood of lights - with everyone else in the city who seemed to come out the same evening. It was so much fun though! We all sang at the top of our lungs, windows rolled down, wishing folks a Merry Christmas, telling stories, and picking our favorite house of lights out and rating each one on a scale from 1-10. The little girls brought their blankets and pillows and were asleep by the time we returned home. . .

Here are some of the kids in front of one of our favorite lighted houses. . . gotta love the barefeet in the mix.

 One morning this past month, snuggled deep under the blankets, I felt a little tap - Then, "Mommy, the sky is beautiful. Come see. . . come see and can I take a picture with your camera?" Slowly I crawled out, the light from the window all that was coming through in the dark room and I rubbed my eyes to see - Brighton's little silhouette at the window, hands and nose pressed on the cold pain, peering out. "Mommy, come see, you have to see God waking up because it's beautiful."

Course God doesn't sleep, but no need for correction just then. I moved close, pressing my hands against the top pains, forehead and make-up stained eyes to the glass. The sunrise was glorious filled with beautiful colors in all shapes and streams. I handed her the camera and she caught God waking up in this picture below. It was a beautiful awakening. . . oh, what I would miss if I didn't take time to look through the eyes of children. How often I was reminded of that this Christmas season.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Rom. 15:13 

"Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." 2 Cor. 9:15

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:7

Alyssa

Merry Christmas Eve!

"Dear Friends and Family,                                                                               Dec. 2012

Merry Christmas! We are grateful to God for another year of life. He has proved Himself faithful time and time again to us this past year. It's been a full year as we've juggled family life with eight children, my business and Alyssa's photography business. We come to the close of this year and we are amazed once again at God's goodness to provide and lead, to give grace in times of trial, and give us many joyful memories together.

The children have grown so much this past year. Scott, Shelton, and Christian have had a good school year and worked diligently to maintain high grades. Caedman joined the three older boys' fall fever and participated in his first season of tackle football. Morgan and Caedman have been blessed with a wonderful school teacher in Alyssa's mom. Morgan has been participating in ballet and Brighton and Lakelyn are enjoying pre-school at home and participating in gymnastics. Haven has been a blessing to us all! She is doing very well at being the baby of our family and we all love to play and hold her.

I believe the encouragement that the Lord gave me this year was that He does all things well and He is in control. In the good times and bad, we can trust HIM with our lives, our futures, our all. From our family to yours, Merry CHRISTmas, and happy New Year!"  ~ Robert

"This year has been crazy awesome! I went to Australia in the summer and had a blast. School has been good and I've grown a lot spiritually and physically throughout this year. God has taught me a lot about choosing my friends wisely and about humility. Sports have been good. I've enjoyed learning from my teachers and they are all really nice. God has allowed me to do really well in all my classes with straight A's in all subjects. This has taken lots of late nights studying hard. I've met new friends this year. I've done a lot of singing this year at youth group, church, and other events. I went to summer camp this past summer with Shelton and had a lot of fun and learned some great stuff. I started a business this past summer and earned quite a bit of money and I am hoping to build the business this coming summer because I'm going to need to buy a car. I'm thinking ahead and I think a lot about planning for the future. I have really thought a lot about how grateful I am for my family this past year because so many of my friends don't live with both parents or have siblings." ~ Scott

"This past summer I had fun because Scott and I were able to get a lot of work. I have really asked God to help me be a light at school and have enjoyed leading worship at FCA and a Bible study during lunch time. Sports have been fun this year. Football, soccer, flag football - let's see - camp was awesome. I am excited to have made the basketball team at school. I have done a ton of studying, it's been really hard and a lot of homework. I think about this year the big thing God has been teaching me is to not be afraid of what people think and to be bold. Before I use to be afraid, but now it's like God has shown me to just share my heart with people. I've really enjoyed music again as usual and trying to learn more on the piano this year. I was reading in the Psalms a lot this year and I don't have a particular verse I like best, but it's just been really encouraging to me this past year and has kept me going in tough times." ~ Shelton

"Well, this year was, it was tough, no it wasn't too tough. Not too tough. It was sort of interesting and busy. This year was a fun year and an interesting year. I got to play a lot of football and had some successful seasons. We won the flag football super bowl and won 57-8. Also, I had a good time playing tackle this fall even though it was rough. But it was fun. I also had to go back to school. Which I have been doing pretty well so far with grades and now it's Christmas break which makes me really happy. I like playing chess and basketball and riding rollerblades and bikes and building stuff outside. The end." ~ Christian

"This year was a great year! I liked water skiing this summer! Hum. . . gotta think because I did a lot this year. I helped the family a lot and taking care of of things with mom. I liked having the snow flake competition this past weekend. That was so fun. I sold some Christmas ornaments this month and made money of my own, like twenty dollars or something. I like making gifts a lot and I've made 1, 2, 3, 4, like four gifts. I've gotten up to doing a lot of 8th notes in piano, um, I've done a lot of running this year and ballet this fall again. I'm doing cursive a lot in my school and I really like history, reading and really don't like math. God has been teaching me this year, well, really probably to not be selfish, um at the first of the year God was showing me I wasn't very good at forgiving but I think it's about love. I think that's really it for me I guess. . ." ~ Morgan

"Well, I did like football a lot. What else. . . and I made it to the super bowl and then lost at the one yard line by one point. It didn't make me sad ya know? But I wasn't exactly happy. Math is my favorite subject in school and I have played with Haven a lot - how old is she? She's like one year old? I am excited about Christmas - uh, want me to tell you what I think I got? I got the biggest present that we have. I did whatever you call that thing where you ski on water? I really like the trampoline. I have gone to work with Dad a lot this year and I really like that a lot. Well. . .to be kind, that is what I am learning. I am really thankful for the party we are having on Christmas Eve. I liked making snow flakes. I think that's good. That's all I have to say right now." ~ Caedman

"I liked playing this year, I liked pictures sometimes too and because it's Christmas. I like gymnastics and I like to make crafts, I like to play with my sisters. I like Haven. Um, ah, hum. I really like, my favorite brother is Caedman. That's all I like. Um, I pray with Jesus sometimes in the night and well daddy tells me a lot in Bible stories every night. Jesus has been working in my heart and he talks to me and he is in my heart. That's what he has been doing for me. It's his birthday right now! I like Jesus and it's the best birthday! And I like Lakelyn. I do school with mommy a lot and we do fun stuff together. I like a ton of stuff. I like princesses and going to parties and dressing up." ~ Brighton

"Birthday? Jesus' birthday? Christmas is what I'm thinking, and Jesus' birthday. I like park, sliding on the slide. My baby cellphone, my baby princess, my pony. I went to the festival - BUNNY RABBIT that is what I WAS! And Brighton dressed up as a blue princess but I was a bunny! Yep. Abcdefghijklm p qxt3 abcdefghijklmnop qr x (laughing) now I know my abcs next time won't you sing with me. Going on a special date tomorrow, I love to do that and get uh, play blocks! I like to play with Scott and mommy and daddy and I love them on my special date I want to go, if they will be big 'cause I'm big. Brighton too! Scott is my best brother. I am my best sister. Haven is my favorite. I have two fathers. I have a grandmother and I love her house! The box in the shed and a trip. Yep, God showed me something to be kind and to be mad, and Brighton was mean to me and Caedman was mean to Brighton. But Morgan helps me to get tiny beads, she found them, tiny ones for me. I found them for you!" Lakelyn  

"Gagoo mamama?" ~ Haven

"It's been a wonderful Christmas season ~ my heart is just so full of thankfulness to God sending His Son. We have been talking a lot about what it must have been like, that night Christ was born, discussing all the details we don't usually take into consideration. It has made it all the more marvelous to me. I never cease to be in awe at His majesty, so perfectly combined with humility. I am so grateful for God's patience with me, how He never lets me go, bringing me back again and again when I am prone to wander. My neediness continually reminds me of the amazing gift that Jesus Christ is and the love that he has shown mankind through His coming, His death, and coming to life again. Setting aside time in our year, Christmas - setting aside time in our lives to celebrate Jesus' birth -- it's awesome to stop, contemplate, consider, and thank Him. What a GIFT! He is why I breathe, and love life.

Merry Christmas from our family to your's!

Alyssa

Mercies New.

Last month on our camping trip the children discovered pecans. The leaves were falling and so were the pecans and they would line them up by our camp fire and then sit there and crack them open and eat them. Shelton even boiled the nuts over the fire with marshmellows and who knows what else. My grandmother mentioned getting rid of a nut cracker a week or so ago and I knew it would be something the children would enjoy. I don't think they even knew nut crackers existed until I brought grandmother's old one home the other day. . . it has gotten a lot of good use!

Simple things make content kids happy.

~

Another real-life --  yet super crazy event? This crew all in one picture!

Yep, that's my family! Pretty much everyone is sane, er, I mean everyone is awesome!

The best part about them in my opinion? They are completely imperfect and are completely ok with that and completely ok that the rest of us are imperfect too. And rest in a perfect God who is very patient with us all and has done wonders to keep us all having a blast together. This is not only praise to God, but to my parents who are, plainly put, the real-deal.

Which makes for a good time when we all get together. Thanks to a tri-pod and automatic zapper thing-y in my hand, and Katherine who sang, danced, and all sorts of awesome things to get all of us looking, mom will have a picture to hang this Christmas.

The most wonderful grandparents in the whole wide world. My heart just is so grateful.

And these kids! Love them all so much!

Real, real real-life! This is the one I want to frame! Mom, you're the best. 

The men. Thanks, dad, for all your loving encouragement to each and everyone of them.

Our contribution to the crew~

Real-life post #6, nuts and crackers.

Alyssa