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(We found "fall" on our hike Sunday afternoon.)
Recently I was given the opportunity to be offended.
Or hurt, whatever you want to call it. Maybe I just had my eyes on myself?
Ok, that's a bit too realistic. Makes self-pity impossible, so let's just call it "hurt."
I struggled at first. There was this feeling of emotional pain that kind of shot through. Stung. Kind of like a zap to the heart. You've felt it.
But I pushed past it, "Nope, I said to myself almost as soon as I felt it. Not going there. Move on, Alyssa."
I kept on, kept my spirit up. Tried in all my will power to think the best, but I didn't feel the best inside even though I pasted on the smile. My heart sunk. I felt rejected, not good enough. The enemy whispered, "Man, if you'd done that to them, they would have felt hurt too."
That's where the enemy likes to attack me most - the, "You don't measure up for them." Then the kind of, "How dare they treat me that way! I'm worth more than that, right?"
I felt that. I entertained those feelings, even if it was brief. Maybe no one else has entertained stuff like that, but I have. I felt it this morning.
I've come a long way, praise God. . .
But the enemy is pretty relentless in this life, with my life. I want to forgive. I will pursue it. I will fight for it.
I knew I had not been treated as the other person would have wanted to be treated. It might have been unintentional. Could I make myself believe they just didn't think it through? That would help my feelings. . . that might help me forgive.
Sarcastic.
What if it was intentional though? Whether or not, I am sure that it was not loving. I didn't FEEL loved by their actions.
What do I do when I am not loved?
Where do I go?
How do I fight the "hurt." Or rather, how do I get my eyes off of myself and focused on. . .
Focused on the cross, where sins are forgiven. How do I apply the cross and what Jesus did there for me?
How in the world do I apply that to others? Is it possible?
It doesn't feel possible. Sometimes it just seems like it will kill me to apply the cross.
Ah. Ah, that's the key right there.
Me. me. me.
In the hurt, in the offense - whether intentional or no - I GET, I have the opportunity to love someone else like Jesus has loved me.
Sometimes I can hardly stand it - I want to scream, "If I'd done to you would you have felt loved? huh, huh, huh?!"
:) up go the imaginary fists ready to go into the ring and fight.
We can't pretend we haven't had times of feeling that way. Maybe we've lived our whole life feeling that way.
The cross.
Jesus Christ and what He did there for me. . .
Wait, it wasn't just for me. It was for them and it was for others.
You mean those people that intentionally, or unintentionally, don't show love to me?
Yes.
Hello cross! Glorious cross.
Apply it. Look at others through what Jesus has done on the cross. It's tough. It takes dying to me. It takes putting the focus on the life that Jesus lived, the death that He died, the suffering that He endured. He loved them like He loves me.
Through Him, so can I.
Get the opportunity recently to "apply the cross" to someone?
We will have the opportunity probably every single day of our lives to one degree or another.
I just got this mental picture. I saw this big see-through cross in my mind's eye. Then the person who has hurt me behind it. When I see the cross in front of that person, I can't view them the same way I once did.
There are new mercies that I see.
Mercy and LOVE.
This is what it means to be free. Chains gone, a new creature.
Great is THY faithfulness. Morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed (forgiveness), Thy hand has provided. Great is they faithfulness, Lord unto me.
Pardon for sin and peace (can't have peace when offended) that endureth, Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide. Strength for today and bright hope (where we got Brighton's name from!) for tomorrow.
Blessings all mine, with 10,000 beside!
All this reminds me of this song.
Lyrics:
"Holding onto our beliefs
Like a child holds to its father
It's like we're trying so hard to breathe
With our heads underneath the water
Keep trying to find the balance
Of our love and our convictions
'cause we know that life in you
Moves far beyond religion
We know we know we know we know
That nothing else even matters but LOVE.
We keep trying to find a way
To come together
Lord take these fears away
And make us one one one whoa
Lord make us one one one Lord make us one
We are the face of Christ
In a world of shadows
Is it God's love we're fighting for
Or our denomination's ego?
We got to let go of pride
Embrace the idea of difference
Make unity our calling
And move within forgiveness
We know we know we know we know
That nothing else even matters but LOVE.
Imagine what could be imagine what could change
If love was all that really mattered
Would the light of Christ finally shine through
Me and you?"
(haha! the holes in Robert's jeans are out of control.)
A. Ann
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| | Posted 11/15/2011 8:19 PM - 1969 Views
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