| ||What an amazing last week. |
Amazing because I am pretty nearly full term and and on my feet almost all day every day, bending over a million times, picking up little kids/constant lifting, bumping all over the place for all sorts of things, walk and jog almost every evening, and no - this type of lifestyle never brings on a baby for me. Even in 100 degree plus heat.
Last night I worked out after 8pm. It was probably still about 100 degrees. When I went to bed last night I thought, "Could totally have this baby tonight." But nope, just another tossing and turning uncomfortable night. God knows the birthday.
Truth is, I didn't have time to have a baby this past week. The calendar for last week had more ink scribbled all over it than any week previous. There just wasn't time.
It's crazy for me to even imagine I could still be pregnant two weeks from now - but I could.
But then again, baby could come tonight. It's not for everyone, but element of surprise is fine with me.
We think we have a name, at least a first and last , for Baby. For the first time though, I really feel I must see this baby to know if the name will "fit." We've a middle name we love, but again, we're just going to kind of wait and see when she gets here if it's for her.
I'm feeling horribly impatient to hold her outside of me. The worst summer heat I think I've ever lived through might have something to do with that.
Football pictures was just one of the many things on the schedule last week. After the boys had their team pictures done, we didn't stick around to pay for individual shots and just took our own on the way home. Here is a few:
(Christian waiting in line during team pictures the other night.)
Scott is too old for the league they've played in for years now and will be playing elsewhere. He has the challenge this year of earning a spot on the A team and earning the coach's desire to play him over 80 players in his age group! It will be a new experience for him, but he is excited about the challenge. Many of the guys on his team are guys he's played sports with for several years now.
Bubbie is skipping football this fall and will be participating in other things instead. He is a less of an aggressive personality and I enjoy seeing him form his own interests and seeing what his strengths are. I know one thing for certain, he is a runner - a long distance runner! I have never met a boy his age who not only loves to run, but loves to run for long periods of time, at a very steady pace. He amazes us. His endurance level is admirable - might come from being fourth of four boys!
Maybe he thinks, "Well, if I can't run faster than them, I will run longer than them." Actually, unlike his three brothers, he doesn't seem to have much of a competitive bone in his body. I think he just enjoys running. And barefoot at that.
I've thought a lot about my priorities with this new baby coming to join us.
Kind of sounds like a boring topic to write about if my opinion. I think of lists when I write the word priority and I don't like lists.
The word kept coming forward from the back of my head more than ever when I first found out I was expecting again. There was just this sense of needing to make sure mine were in line. Almost an urgent need to look at my calling as a woman and just start from scratch. . . re-evalute things, simplify, prioritize like never before, question and find answers.
That scary feeling of thinking change might be in the air - and knowing it's a good thing, but preferring the comfortability of what is familiar.
But back to priorities. . .
I wanted to nail it down to three.
Which honestly, didn't seem all that hard or new - it came out as it has in the past:
-Relationship with God.
-And then no other higher priority under God than that of being Robert's wife.
-Then the calling of being a nurturing, loving mother to my children.
As I have sought God on the whole priority thing He has made it clear to me that my primary calling under that of being a daughter of God is to be a support-lover-friend-helper-companion to my husband.
I don't write a lot about husband/wife relationship and marriage because I still consider myself a newbie when it comes to this kind of love. I'm just workin' here on my 15th year of marriage and I discover my inability to consistently love with the love of Christ - oh, more than several times a day!
I know first hand how easy it is to forget Robert is to be my top priority under God when I have a million demands that come from our wonderful children and maintaining our household. I don't write from "having this down." I write as one who has and is recklessly pursuing and growing in what I believe is my calling along these lines.
It's just true ~ though motherhood is a great calling ~ before motherhood should always emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually be the priority of my husband. Easier said than done when husband and wife find themselves out numbered by the children. For some, maybe hard even when there is just one or two children.
My husband isn't second rate to my children. Or for that matter, to anyone. I have the glorious goal and challenge each and everyday of LIVING THAT OUT, and not just writing it.
I have been reminded, and observed, more than ever before that unless I get the relationships in my family correct, I can never be what God intended me to be as His daughter, or what I am wanting to be as a wife.
I typed this out a few weeks back when thinking about all this:
-My relationship with my husband should never be sacrificed in order to meet the needs of my children. Children need to know this not only by action, but sometimes they need to be lovingly told. They might think they'd rather me sacrifice daddy for them, but really that only brings insecurity to the child and unlove to our husband.
-My relationship with my husband should not be sacrificed in order to meet the "needs" of my parents/in-law relationships. . . might need to explain this to parents in order for it to take place! If need be, make it CLEAR to parents what this is going to look like in your relationship with them. Make it CLEAR to your spouse WHO holds the keys to your heart, whose advice you will respect first and foremost and who you would rather spend time with.
Hint: for either husband or wife, it should not be parents.
-My relationship with my husband should not be sacrificed in order to meet my desire for outside friends or outside hobbies. Girlfriends are nice. Computers and technology can be time savers, maybe! Hobbies can be great too, but our man needs to know they don't light a candle to how much we want to be with him.
I want to be dedicated to keeping my relationship with my husband priority over my children, or for that matter over any other relationship. I am aware that with another wonderful baby coming on board the challenge before me is not going to get easier.
In Proverbs 31 I think it's best summed up this way, "She does her husband good and not evil all the day of her life."
I desire to do my husband good - not because he demands it of me, not because he is perfect or "deserves" it, not because it's easy, not because I'm a helpless romantic, or for crying out loud - see myself at all inferior to him.
(Male and female have been made equal in Christ - Gal. 3:28).
I desire to do him good because of God's goodness and unconditional love for me. I want to pour that out on the one who is my husband. I'm motivated out of what I have been given. That's what I want to give.
In God's eyes,as a woman, I hold a place of honor. The Bible describes me as a woman as the "glory of man" and as an excellent wife, then a "crown to her husband." I have the privilege of serving my husband just as he is called to also serve me. I'm not talking about slavishly devotion here. I'm talking about an attitude of loving each other because we love God.
I find purpose and joy (and a good challenge!) in being a wife to my husband - that of helping him is not an inferior position to his, but rather, one of great importance. I get to build him up. I have the privilege to respect him as a person and as my husband. I get to love him. I get to build up every aspect of his life - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually - just as he does mine.
I have the privilege of loving as I have been loved by God. Selflessly, joyously, faithfully.
I want my presence in my husband's life to be a good thing. . . all the days of his life.
He wants his presence in my life to be the same. Ultimately it takes two to tango and the responsibility of a loving marriage does not of course rest upon me and the good I do ~ it takes two people who understand that God is the head and He has called us to love each other as He loves us.
As I have been thinking about keeping my husband as second priority in my life (priority right under God), I have come to realize that for each woman it can mean a very different thing to build up, come along side, and support their husband.
It is pretty clear to me that respect and deference towards our husband is a calling for us as wives. This is non-negotiable in my opinion for both husband and wife and how they treat each other, but just day in and day out coming-along-side our man can take on different definitions for each of us - because obviously we are all married to a different man, and we all live in different situations.
For some of us our role of wife can include more than others. The Proverbs 31 woman bought and sold things - obviously she had a part in bringing in some income for the household. For some of us, as for myself, this is as aspect of being a supportive and helpful wife to my husband. For others, this isn't necessary.
As we develop a relationship with our man and find out his strengths, weaknesses, interests, and goals in life, how we can come along side and be supportive and loving takes on a more defining role for each of us specifically. No one can define what that is going to look like for another woman, each of us are going to be unique to our specific calling as wife to our specific man in his specific situation.
It is the same way with motherhood for each of us. Our specific unique role as wife to our husband is going to make us all uniquely different when it comes to how our next priority, that of motherhood, is lived out.
That is really a pretty cool thought to me - each of us have our own adventure before us that no one has mapped out, charted, or explored before. We alone are called to master the privilege and challenge before us of loving our husband and keeping him priority over any other human relationship.
We can't rightly do this though unless our number one priority is in place: relationship with God.
I have discovered that I can't sacrifice my relationship with God in order to love my husband. In other words, though being his wife is priority - it is not priority over God. My husband is not my high priest. God is my High Priest.
I can go to God directly. He is always available, always there. I am to worship Him alone. I will answer to Him alone. He comes first. I am called first and foremost to, "...Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and with all my strength..."
My desire is that God be the head of my heart, soul and mind - only when this is the case am I able to love, respect, support, come along side, and be companion to my husband in the way I desire.
| ||Posted 8/28/2011 10:01 PM - 1467 Views|